YeePei's Secret Corner

First Post of 2012 - A dedication to my beloved Piggy

2012-02-14T23:09:00.008+08:00

Wooooohoooo! This is my first post of 2012!

It's been a relatively long time since I last updated.. Not much changes in life. :)

2011 was not an easy year for me.. A lot of obstacles to overcome, problems arise after I solved some, a lot of thick and thin in the year of 2011. But I'm thankful and glad that Piggy is always there with me, and for me. Really really thank Piggy for all his support these years.

18 Feb 2012 marks our 30th month anniversary (i.e. 2 and a half years)!! 14 Feb 2012 is our 3rd Valentine's Day already! How time flies! But sadly, we couldn't celebrate on the actual day cos he's in camp.. Nonetheless, at least we did spend sometime together last weekend.. And this weekend, it marks our 2 and a half years anniversary!

All these days, ;
No matter how bad things/situation were, you loved me.
No matter how I threw tantrums on you, you loved me.
No matter how poor you are, as long as I like something, you'll find your ways to satisfy me.
No matter how my past were, you accepted me and loved me.
No matter how many times I used to betray you, you still loved me.
No matter how childish I can be, you still loved me.
No matter how 大女人 I can be at times, you still loved me.
No matter how 无理取闹 I am, you still loved me.

Besides your rude behaviour and attitude, there's seriously nothing much for me to grumble about.. You always do your best to make sure I'm considered in your picture, like I am your number 1 priority. What's more can I ask for? I really really thank you for loving me with all your heart and trust me so much.

We've planned for our future.. With you, I know things can be achieved cos you've never let me worried and you've always been so willing to sacrifice and work for our future. Piggy, let me work with you to shape our future ok? There's no words enough to describe how important you are to me and how much I really love you. Just remember, no matter what happens, we'll still love each other! <3

Remember our 1st Valentine's Day 2years back?

This was our first pair of couple ring! :)

And this! Remember?

Haha... I remember you kept reminding me not to let anyone in my family touch/eat the cake! <3

And our 2nd Valentine's Day...

You got me a bouquet of roses the day after Valentine's! Haha.. And on this day, we got our second pair of couple ring! :)

And this year, our 3rd Valentine's Day....

You didn't have time to get anything for me, but you let me shopped for what I want! <3 Can't love you enough!

Anyway, I hope and pray that you'll be fine for this two years of serving the nation.. And hopefully it helped you grow spiritually and mentally! Hehe.. Love you loads Piggy!

Although sometimes you make me mad, but I forgive you, and love you.
Although you make me feel like pulling my hair, but I'll still love you.
Although sometimes you do things that I cannot agree with, but I accept the fact that everyone's different and I'll learn to understand.
Although you can be quite irritating at times, but that's when I like the cuteness you have in you.
Although sometimes you throw tantrums at your parents (which I totally cannot take it), but I'll try my best to cool you down so that you don't. Because I love you.

You used to describe me with this song..! And you've always reminded yourself and I to use it for our wedding~

Title: I Wanna Know What Love Is
Artiste: Mariah Carey

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when Im older

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
Ohhh~~
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
And I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me
Let's talk about love

And I've always used this song to describe how important you are to me...

Title: Power Of Love
Artiste: Celine Dion

The whispers in the morning
Of lovers sleeping tight
Are rolling like thunder now
As I look in your eyes

I hold on to your body
And feel each move you make
Your voice is warm and tender
A love that I could not forsake

Coz I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

Even though there may be times
It seems I'm far away
Never wonder where I am
Coz I am always by your side

Coz I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love
The sound of your heart beating
Made it clear suddenly
The feeling that I can't go on
Is light years away

Coz I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I`ve got to that I can
We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love
The power of love

You're my power of love Piggy. It's you who made me and let me know and learn how to love someone all together again.. And it's you who let me know I am worth someone like you.. And it's you who's really willing to love me as a whole, my past, my present, and my future..

Thank you Piggy.. Thank you for accepting me for who I am, and love me so wholeheartedly Piggy.. I pray for more 30months, and hope by then we'll achieve and be able to fulfill one of our plans then! :)

Love you my Piggy! MUACKS!

Damn angry with myself!

2011-12-08T20:40:00.002+08:00

Argh!! Damn angry with myself!!

Mz was very emo today that she felt like committing suicide. As a friend, I've consoled her, comforted her before.. But just one sentence, everything has gone into the drains. Just because she heard her friend's bf saying that he saw T with another girl at Kallang, she went "nuts" again. Disappeared for a few hours, bombed her phone at least 10times using office phone. I even tried to use Ziling's phone to call her. But she just refused to pick up. She declined almost every single call no matter who called. I was so freaking worried when T told me what happened. I felt so useless. I wanted to call her using my phone or even sending her a simple msg, but I couldn't. Simply because my line was suspended. I was so afraid. I was so afraid that I would just lose a friend like this. A friend who is so good at heart, a friend who is so helpful, a friend who just need a listening ear, and a friend who just need someone to be loyal and faithful to her. But as her friend, there wasn't much I could do to help her ease a lil of her pain. Even if it's just a lil lil bit. I couldn't do anything. Even during the company Kick-off, my mind was full of her. Although by then I know she was safe and sound, but my mind was really full of her. But yet there was nothing I could do. I couldn't even contact her!

What have I done for her as a friend? Why is it that when she needed me the most I couldn't be with her? Why is it that I couldn't share the pain with her? You know? As I'm typing this I'm actually tearing.. Why am I so useless as a friend? Why am I so stupid to know that everyone handles their emotional hurts differently? Why can I use the method which worked on me to make it work for her? Why am I so dumb?

My intentions were good. But I handled it in a wrong method. This incident helped me to learn. People ARE different. They look differently, think differently, most importantly, FEEL DIFFERENTLY. I think I really need to acknowledge the fact that I am really a failure when it comes to counselling.

I am really so disappointed with myself. So much so that I don't even feel like eating although I haven't had my dinner. Sigh....

My turn to go to the seaside and shout!!!!

Piggy's Enlisted!

2011-11-28T20:20:00.003+08:00

Updates updates!!!

Piggy has already been enlisted on 24 Nov.. He cried when the ferry was reaching Tekong. Can see that there was really much much fear and uncertainty in him.. And plus, I guess he was also bu she de me la.. Haha..

Well anyway, since then piggy would make an effort to call me at least once even if I missed his calls. And if I really can't pick up his calls or call him back, he'd still msg me whenever he can during the day or night. :) *he didn't even call his mum/dad everyday but he will call me everyday*
Hehe... Happy max!

Anyway, my FSC and RNF codes are both out already.. Now just waiting for all my passwords to the various accounts that I have to maintain. Like the Agent Internet la, our own email la, eacademy la, etc etc etc... Hopefully I can start closing case this month! Wish me luck! :D

I'll just update till here for now... Will try to update as frequent/often as I can ;)

Update updates!!

2011-11-04T13:00:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.... Haven't update for sometime.

Have been quite busy with quite a number of things and events on my schedule. Don't know good thing a not, but I've joined AIA as a FSC. But things are not as smooth, due to my previous termination, company is giving alot of problems. Bleahzzz..

Realised I haven't been thinking about him that much le.. Probably because I'm really trying hard to get him out of my mind and God knows it, so He helped me. Well, not a bad idea though.

Had our agency photoshoot earlier the week. It was definitely a super tiring day! But really really thank God for the non-raining weather! It was raining super heavy around office area after meeting when all of us were preparing. Then boss was panicking, trying to think of an alternative plan. But he said it's ok la. Just go there and see first. If really cannot take there then think last minute lor. So all of us went there with the various cars, and guess what? Marina didn't have a single drop of rain! Only lightning though. So we just went up and took the photos. And as we were walking up, the security guard told us that we are not advised to go up due to the frequent lightning, and if we really want to go up, we'll need to go up on our own risk. So anyway we went up stil. And guess what? A handful of our hair strand stood upright! What caused it? The lightning! Haha.. Not that it stroke us, but because it was very near to where we were! So there was electrostatics! So it explains why our hair stood. Lols.

Anyway, we continued our photoshoot (with our hair standing).. No rain, no more lightning, but stuffy. Nonetheless, still thank God for that! At least we didn't hv to be drenched! Haha... So after the afternoon photoshoot, we went off to MBS for dinner. Had a super hard (uncooked) pasta and a slice of cake, since we were celebrating Karen's belated birthday. By then, my legs were tired max already. I was trying to change off my heels whenever I can! Lols. Can you imagine, standing on a pair of 3"heels the whole day? Including climbing up stairs..! Geez.. And after dinner we did a night shoot! But before that we did our part as calefare at Steph's wedding video!! Cool max can! First time doing that sia.. Can't wait for Steph's wedding to come! Hehe.. Next week next week! 11/11/11!

Many people are asking me when's mine... I have no idea honestly! Lols. I used want to get married young and start a family young. But, reality don't allow us to do so leh... Everything's so expensive. Cost of living is so freaking high! And my pay isn't sky high~~ Duh! Well anyway it's not easy sustaining in Singapore anymore. Sigh.... So plans of getting married will have to postpone~ Haha...

That's all for now I guess..

I don't know why....

2011-02-05T22:07:00.004+08:00

Don't know why, have been quarrelling with Piggy quite a lot recently. Over trival matters, over big issues. You name it, we quarrel about it. I guess that is part and parcel of life when you begin to understand more of a person as you befriend him. The longer you guys know each other, the more things you know about this person. It gives you a clearer picture of how this person is like, what are his likes or dislikes, what is his character like, how is his attitude towards life and etc..

Many people asked me, how come you can tahan him for so long? How come so many other people woo you but you still chose to be with him? Well, having been together for so long sure will have feelings attached in there somewhere. How would it be easy to let go? Yes. He might not be the nicest man on Earth; he might not be perfect. But who's perfect? Neither am I perfect. I always recall the time when I told him I cheated on him. The sadness from his eyes.. Its the pair of eyes that I will never forget. From then on I told myself, I cannot do this anymore. From then on, I really gave my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength and all my love into this relationship.

But I realise things aren't that easy. The more I want to treat him better, the more imperfections I find he has. And these imperfections are lil things that I really cannot stand. His thinking, his behaviour, his actions. And everytime when I cannot stand him, we always ended up in a cold war stage. Just like now.

It hurts my heart when I know I have a bf who is older than me, but his thinking is way younger than me. Irresponsible thinking, impulsive attitudes and actions. Reminds me of my brother. A person whom I hated. I don't know how.. I don't know why.. I don't know how come things between us became like this. I don't know how to mend it back. I can't make myself endure all his nonsense. But neither can I stop him. Time and time again, I tell myself. Let God do His work in him. But in the end, I realise, I can't let go. I'm holding on too tight I guess. Or maybe I haven't thought for him enough? I don't know. I really don't know. Can someone teach me?

When can he grow up? When can he think maturely? When? When when when when when??!!

Sigh...

I don't know why, whenever I quarrel with Piggy, the first person that comes to my mind is always him. Memories will start to reappear in my mind. And the day he abandoned me.. The day I'll never forget.

There has been a lot of times when I told myself to give up on Piggy. I know I'm not the type that he would really go for. I don't know why. I'm very afraid. I'm afraid that the nightmare would become reality. I've always dreamed that Piggy will abandon me. Just like Andrew. I'm very scared. In order to protect myself, I always tell myself. I have to break up with him before he mentions it to me. I'm afraid I can't take it. Once is pain enough. I don't wanna go through the same thing twice. Or anymore. I know it's wrong of me to think that way. It's not fair for him.. But I just can't stop myself.

怎么办？我应该怎么办？我到底应该怎么做？

20 Oct 2008..

2011-01-20T12:48:00.000+08:00

Have been sitting at Esplanade Library recently. Songs here, memories here, suddenly feel so new. Things happened here, feel so recent. At a blink of the eye, things are over for almost three years. How fast time flies..

Sigh.. Very long never emo liao. The feeling of being emo suddenly feel so deep in. All the way to the very bottom of the heart. Sigh....

Time flies and guess what? It's 2011!!

2011-01-17T11:19:00.002+08:00

Omg.. Time really flies like anything. People say time flies.. And here I am gonna improvise it a lil. Time rockets! Lols!

It's my second job since my gradution. IT started off this new year for me. Well, though it's stressful, but hope that I won't have a time too hard to go through this year. It's by God's grace that I'm able to go through 2010 as it is. Though there're ups and downs, but I'm go through them with God's grace and mercy. ;)

This year marks the third year of our break up and the second year for me and piggy. How fast! Next month's gonna be damn busy! Piggy and his bro's birthday, CNY, our 18 months anniversary, and valentine's day! Omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!

Anyway, I'm planning on a getaway with piggy for my 21st birthday! Haha.. Usually people organize parties/chalet/bbq, etc.. But I want something different. I wanna go for a trip with piggy! Even if it's Malaysia. Lols. I'll be happy already. Haha... But well, that will depends on whether finances wise allow me to do so. Haha...

Oh well... Hope he's doing fine anyway.. I hope he's guggling with his current job and helping his sis to take care of his new born nephew. :)
Lord, may You shower your grace and love for him and that he maybe able to go through this difficult period of his life. Amen.

EARTHQUAKE!!!

2010-11-11T15:24:00.003+08:00

Moving ahead can be quite tedious at times.. It can be quite an enjoyable moment. But at times, it can be a stupid thing to have in life especially when you lost your way.

Leaving my line of interest left me daggling half way in the mid air when I don't have all my certifications with me. Even looking for a job can be quite tedious. Cos not all booses wanna hire you without seeing your certifications first. But well, thank God provided. God gave me a way out while I'm the midst of applying for a job. Came across this admin job from Jas Pak, and I sent in my resume. To my surprise, when I told them that I don't have my certifications with me, they said it was ok. ;) Thank God! And I've always wanted to work in a logistics company, so that I can make use of what I study, and at the same time, explore how is it like to work in a logistics company.. So yeah. :)

And well, not having to face interviewers for a period of time made me damn nervous on the interview day. And what's worse was that I lost my way there! I was like... Panicking!! First time ever being late for interview! Sigh... Anyway, when I found the place, through the interviewer's facial expression, I thought I would fail for this interview.. And during the interview, I guess I didn't sound very confident though.. I was like... Had the thought that I would fail for the interview already. Cos they asked me to wait for call. :(

But guess what? The interviewer called me the day after my interview.. And told me.. I GOT THE JOB! Hehehehe! :) But cos their dress codes were like.. Quite formal.. So when they asked me if I wanna start on immediately or next monday, I told them next monday. Like that then I've got time to get clothes for work man.. If not die sia. No clothes to wear. Everyday wear the same set. LOLs.

So went shopping for the whole afternoon yesterday with Piggy cos he end school early yesterday.. But didn't manage to get everything I needed. So in end, continued the shopping today. ;) Hehe.. So now, everything bought already. Left with a prepared heart and a prepared soul for the job. ;)

Well, wish me good luck for my new job on monday! ;)

Anyway, I don't know why, I had a fling recently again. OMG. Actually also not really fling la. More of a ONS... And people, you guys will salute me man.. Why? Because I told piggy about it. LOLS. I think not all people will tell their partners when they did something betrayal behind their partner's back lor.. But well, I told myself, no more next time! And to my surprise, Piggy forgave me. ;)

Sleepless night..

2010-10-30T09:11:00.003+08:00

I don't know what I was doing...

I gave him a belated birthday message.. And still hoping that he would reply. What was I thinking then? I don't know. Think I'm crazy.

This was our thread of messages.

FROM me: I don't know if you have changed number.. Anyway, happy belated birthday.
Reply: May I know who are you

From me: If you rem who is yee pei.
Reply: How could I forget you? Will never ever forget.
Reply: How are you doing now?

From me: Not good. Alot things happened regarding work. What about you? Found a job?
Reply: Still the same. But just that maybe when you see me you won't be able to recognise me?

From me: Why? Why you say I won't be able to recognise you?
Reply: Nothing much. It's just myself. Where are you working now? Graduated right?

From me: Ya.. I graduated in May. I'm now a childcare teacher. Anyway, I really hope you're doing fine. Hope that you will find a girl and start a family. :)
Reply: What do you think?

From me: No matter what, I really hope that you'll be xingfu.
Reply: You should understand me very well. I know somethings, once it's over, there's no more U-turn.. But...

From me: I know you well enough. That's why I ask you to find another girl. Because it's no use for you to waste your love on me anymore.
Reply: 我只希望你过得幸福快乐

From me: I'm very happy now. My current bf dotes me alot. What makes me worried, is you.
~~~No more replies~~~

Sigh... Till now, he's still not married. Just because he wanna wait for me.. Sigh...

And at the meantime guess what? Another guy is wooing me, asking me to be together with him WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I'M ATTACHED!! =.=|||

I was like... How arh? How arh?? How arh???!!! Omg....

没关系。。。

2010-10-29T17:41:00.004+08:00

没关系 - 吴克群
词/曲:吴克群

你离开的时候没有一句
没有一句对不起
对不起是我太执迷
你离开的时候没有一句
没有一句话说清
说清楚(你)离开的原因
也许他可靠他实际他不一样
他能够给你安全感不是梦想
谁还在乎一起傻傻的说过那些话

没关系我们分了没关系
这不是你的问题
是我没那个福气
没福气却又爱上你
就算哭了没关系
这不是你的问题
痛痛快快给我一句
没关系没关系没关系

没关系
爱情里面总有一个比较傻
要怪就怪我放不下
痛苦给我幸福留给你和他
没关系没关系没关系

I don't know why..

When this song was first introduced to me, your image came to my mind. All the memories suddenly all came back.. Why is this so? I thought I've totally forgotten you.. You were the man who changed me. You were the men who hurt me the most. I thought I would hate you. I thought I will not think of you anymore. But I don't know why.. You're always on my mind.. Sometimes, little things that I do, it reminds me of you. Songs that I hear over the radio, reminds me of you. Places that I go, reminds me of you. You're just like a soul, always beside me. Wherever I go, whatever I do, you're always around. It's already three years. But you're still in my mind.

Why is that so..? Cos I loved you too much. I loved you with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul. I remembered whatever I do that time, I only had you in mind. I used to love you so much.. I remembered, we always meet each other at AMK park behind of my mum. My mum didn't like you. And neither did she agree to the relationship. Because she felt that you can't bring me happiness, and neither did you really loved me. Because of me, you chose to face my mum one to one. I tried to help, but I think my ways were wrong. We weren't together as long as my previous relationships, but you're the one who left me with the greatest hurt, and the most 刻骨铭心的回忆.. I'll never forget.. The day where you left my world.. 20th October. 5days before your birthday. Left me, with a broken heart. Left me, without giving me a reason. Left me, without warning. Left my world, shattered. It was until then, then I knew what was the meaning of the word DARKNESS.

You wasn't my first boyfriend. But yet, you were my first man. I thought we would really last. But, you still left me. Left me unguarded. And the matter of you leaving me without a reason, destroyed my whole world. I lost my mind. Lost my mind over you. Emotionally, mentally, I went crazy. Being unable to handle and in order to take revenge, I start to go around flirting, flinging. Sleeping with guys was a norm in my life then. Having sex with them, it's like my three meals. Nothing to be shocked about. Because of you, I changed. I become very sensitive. I became very self-centred. My world changed because of you.

After which, I hated you. I hated men. For a period of more than one year, I was playing around and sleeping around with different guys. I pondered for very long. Why did you come back and look for me even after the break up? Why did you want a patch up after so long? What are you thinking? Are your feelings towards me true? Are they really true? I wanted to know the truth. But I was afraid. Afraid of having to know the truth. But anyway, it was not important at that time anymore. Nothing's important anymore. I'm no longer the one who will devote my heart and soul for a man.

算了。。造成的伤害，不是想忘记，就能把它们都忘掉的。。人，总得向前看。。总得乐观点。。但，有那么容易吗？
我们分了没关系, 是我没那个福气。。。

How's things?

2010-10-25T11:58:00.002+08:00

Haven't update for ages.. Need to clear dust here already..

All my medical check ups are not a stop for the moment.. Finally all the "pain in the ass" checkups... Finally no need to go anymore. Just stomach acid too strong.. That's why have inflamation at the gullet. But nothing too nasty. :)

Life's hasn't been very good.. Alot of decision making though..

*Too long nv blog liao... Don't know what to write. LOL*

Good news!

2010-07-08T20:53:00.002+08:00

Firstly, I really wanna wish Christy a blissful marriage!! She's getting married on Sunday! Happy for her! And actually I didn't expect her to get married so early. She had phobia for marriage, and now she's getting married! LOL. But then again, she got marrried cos of shotgun. She knew she was pregnant on 25th May, and Daniel proposed on 29th May and she agreed. So within a short period of one month, everything was done up including the wedding photoshoot and stuff on the solemnization and the wedding dinner. But whatever it is, whether if she got married cos of the baby, I still wanna wish that she will have a blissful marriage! :)

Secondly, I'm starting my practicum real soon.. And I'll have to take over Teacher Nabisah's class from the last week of July onwards. Hmm... Worried, anxious, of course will la. But heck it. Just leave it to God. Haha... I hope I don't screw my practicum though. LOL

Thirdly, I'll be going for my liver ultrasound next Tuesday and the following Tuesday will be my consultation with Emily Shen again... Wonder what she'll say about my condition. Hmmm... God, you decide.

Fourthly, uncle Fook Onn is making vast improvements! He's now officially off the stupid feeding tube, and is now able to talk! *Still talk and yawn so loud* He's now able to eat porridge and drink with the nurse feeding him using a spoon! Praise the Lord!

Fifthly, how fast time flies! Piggy and me are together for almost a year! OMG. *Wonder if that heartless freak remember and how will he celebrate and what is he getting me* Haha... I already know what I'm doing for him la. So ya... Need time to do you see... I'm like, 6 out of 7 days in a week working, so I won't have much time to do.. So have to start early. Well, if I cannot finish then too bad for him lo. Is either it's gonna be belated, or no presents lor. Haha...

Haha!! Piggy asked me what I want for my BIRTHDAY present! -.- He arh... Si bei fail.... Sigh.. How come I'll like him in the first place arh? >.<

And guess what, piggy fed me dinner just now cos he offended me today. I made him feed me and end up he was treating me like a toddler, and I'm calling him Teacher Kenneth. HAHA!! Cute right~~~? Don't get jealous!! :P

Lalalalalalala....

2010-06-14T22:04:00.002+08:00

Haven't been blogging for quite sometime..

Some things happened, some things remained...

What do I mean by that?
Things that remained: Me and piggy. :)
Things that happened: Piggy's uncle met an accident while working in China. Still in ICU now.

Hmm.. I also don't know if it's considered as good or bad. Good is that, I'm seeing God's work with my own eyes. Bad thing is that, we're all very worried about piggy's uncle.. Hmm...

Well... I've been staying over at piggy's place ever since his parents went to China.. And despite the fact that uncle is now back, I'm still staying here... Haha... One thing I must say is, I feel very peaceful staying here. Much better than going back to my own home. LOL.

Anyway, I'll be having my liver ultrasound on 1st July and seeing doctor on 6th July.. Hopefully I don't have to go through the stupid scope cos it's freaking uncomfortable and EXPENSIVE! LOL. Praying that everything will be fine. :)

An overview of what happened recently.

:'(

2010-05-07T12:15:00.002+08:00

I don't know why, but the nearer 18th May approaches, the more afraid I am..

Why? I'm having my TTSH checkup for my liver on the 18th.

Some people say I'm thinking too much.. But I don't know why, I'm planning for the worst already... And for one thing is, even the doctors don't know the cause yet. I'll never forget the day my blood test result was out, and immediately the doctor called me and told me about the result. I was walking to da bao lunch and go over to piggy's house when the doctor suddenly called me. His tone, all the facts he say, and even the weather, was so dramatic. But it was all real. Initially, when the doctor just called me, the sun was still shining.. But as he told me more and more about my results, the sky became darker and darker, and eventually had lightning and thunder. And when he ended the call, it started to rain. Sounds dramatic I know. But it's true. And the first thing which came to my mind was that it was the end of the world. I lost my health, it seems like I've lost everything. To add on to the fear, the doctor can't even tell whether if it's gonna be dangering my life. It feels like I'm carrying a bomb, which could just explode anytime. I don't know...

I called piggy right after the doctor ended the call. I told piggy exactly what the doctor told me which made me burst out into tears. I don't know what to do. All of a sudden, my world just became black and white (especially when the sky is dark). I teared all the way until I reached piggy's place.

And days after that, it had been at the back of my head.. I wasn't that worried and whatsoever. But amazingly, as 18th approaches, the more afraid I am. I'm afraid that the doctor might diagnose something bad and that I have to go through terrible treatments. As Christians, I know I should not be feeling this way.. But, I really can't help it.. I really don't know why...

Two days ago, piggy had a quarrel with his parents.. After which, I talked to him at the playground.. I suddenly blurt out something which bugging my heart. This was part of what I told him..

"Piggy, you should know my condition very well. Even doctor can't even tell how much time I have. I might just die tomorrow. Nobody can guess about it. I don't even know how many more times I can sit down and talk to you. ..... My point is, I'm so young and I don't even know how much time I have. What's more your parents.. You have to cherish the people around you and treasure them.."

And straight after I finish my words, piggy hugged me tightly and he cried.. It's been a long long time since he hugged me so tightly. Suddenly, I don't wanna die. I wanna have more of this kinda time with piggy. Just lie in the arms of piggy and hear his heartbeat.

God, can you tell me how long more I have? Then I can plan my "numbered days" better.. And with that, I can do more things together with piggy to reduce the number of regrets I have... Lord, I know it's impossible.. But can I demand more time from you? I really need those times....

Busy month of May

2010-05-03T16:58:00.002+08:00

Busy busy busy busy.....?

Haha... As the title says, this month is indeed a busy month. Have to place order for the Graduation Outfit, got preparations to be done for Breakfast counter on 9th May, 21st May is my graduation itself, 22nd is piggy's SHRI graduation, 23rd May is Global Day of Prayer and 29th May is BBQ day. @.@

Schedule seem to be so packed. LOL. But well, it's gonna be the last month before I start work officially at My Little Campus. Quite excited for the start cos I'll be sent for the course. Wonder what kinda people I'll meet. Haha!

But anyway, I wann live life to the fullest till I breathe my last breath. I don't know how long more I can live. But I just wanna make full use of the time I have left to do more meaningful things and to serve Lord.

Piggy and I have got plans about marriage and things after that. But one question always come to me. Do I have the time to execute those plans I have with piggy? Do I really have the chance to get married and to have my own children?

I don't know. I really don't.

Not just another day :)

2010-04-30T11:56:00.002+08:00

Hmm... Heard a news lately... A girl from Temasek Polytechnic committed suicide out of a broken heart.. She was an ex-deyian...

Suddenly, images of me struggling through my secondary school years just replayed in my head... I remembered when I was in secondary school, I too had the thought of committing suicide... I had not much friends.. And wasn't in a very good relationship with my family members... I cried almost everyday in the toilet.. But in school, I always pretended to be strong and could live without friends. It was all my naive thought I guess.. I used to think that I could do without friends. But I was wrong. No matter who it is, everyone had their own weak times where they really need some close friends to be with and to be accompanied by. I can totally understand how it feels like when you meet someone to talk to but you had no one to turn to. Which is why since secondary school, whenever any of my friends need me, I'll definitely make time for them. It's not good to suppress everything inside and endure it all yourself. No one is a superman/woman.

At that time, I really wondered to myself. What have I done wrong to deserve all those treatments? Bro abuse me, mum always scold and nag at me for even the smallest thing, and the relationship between my sis and I have also drifted... Drifted very far... And in school, I've got no friends in class.. And that's not all. People from my class influenced the other people from other classes, other levels, which made me almost had totally no friends in school. The only few friends I've really got, was Jasmine Koh, Melissa Tharmin, and Chiew Hoon. There are somethings which I could share with them. But there are also a lot of things which I couldn't share with them. So basically, I didn't tell anyone about my things. I didn't like to go home, I didn't like to stay in class. But I only like it when I'm having lessons. That's when I can learn new things and consult the teachers on my doubts. Basically my friends were my teachers. Which was why my relationship with the teachers were very good. And I guess that's also part of the reason why my classmates didn't like me? Cos they thought I was a boot licker.

Many didn't know how I went through all those things in secondary school. Some thought that I was mad, can like that suppress my feelings and emotions, while others don't even give a damn. Honestly, I forgot how I became so strong that I could just not tell anyone about what happened in school and at home. But there was a time in Sec 2, where i "abused" myself. I would cut myself on the hand, or even bang myself on the wall.. And there was once, where I wrote a letter to my co-form teacher and told her what I was going through and the things I've done to myself. She was so worried, she referred me to our school external counsellor to go through counselling... Through Miss Lim, I learnt a lot on handling self emotions. And it was also through the counselling sessions, did I stop all my abuse acts on myself and also learnt how to help others handle their emotions.

So what's the morale of the story? Never bury all your emotions all to yourself. Cos you don't know where's your limit. Once it overflows, you might just do anything and everything hurtful to yourself as well as others. Whenever you have troubles, always seek proper channels of help.

In my poly year 1, I got together with a guy called Andrew. Less than 9 months after that, we broke. He initiated. I thought, it was the end of the world. 我糟蹋自己，做了很多在道德上是错误的事。 Trials after trials after trials, I began to really lose dignity and pride for myself. Everything that I do, somehow just need attention. Which is part of the reason why I started to fling, shortly after the broke up. I cried for two weeks. After that, I began to fling. There was a time, where I had more than 5 at a go. I forgot how I managed to do that, but well, it's over. Even when I just got to know piggy, I was actually playing with him.. All inside my mind was, he's my next fling. We got together one week after we know each other on the net.. But as time went by and I saw all the things he has done for me and all the emotional handling that he has helped me through, I know, he's not just another fling. He is one of those whom I can really rely all my life on, and someone whom I can share things with. Though there are still some things which I took time to tell him, but I still told him.. Cos I know, he has the right to know everything about me. I recalled when I came clean about my past to him, he was kinda emo cos he didn't know my past was like that. But well, he accepted. He accepted everything about me. My temper, my past, my tigeress look, my act cute-ness and everything.. Which was what I was very grateful of.. :)

(I think that's the reason why piggy always call me love consultant? Haha...)

Through the dinner date with Eileen, Hui Ping and Takeshi, I really learnt a lot.. And also, managed to salvage the relationship between Take and Mei Zhen.. Really hope they can last. Through Mei Zhen, I saw the image of piggy. Which is now a constant reminder for myself that I cannot two-time him. I don't want him to get hurt. Cos I also hope that we can last. I hope he's my last. :)

How come there's such a person on this world?

2010-04-23T13:40:00.002+08:00

Have been feeling kinda depressed these days... Don't know why also... Hmm...

First thing first... Two days before yesterday's night, I was sitting at the kitchen folding the clothes.. Then dasao came back.. I called her.. But she said something which was very hurting to me.. She said, "No need to talk to me."

Well, I don't blame her.. I send my own brother to the court. How can I expect her to forgive me? But well, it still hurt... Alot... SIgh...

Yesterday was a hectic day... I went to UOB early in the morning, tried to settle some card stuff (cos deardear's debit card's NetsFlashPlay got problem) and the person say she cannot do anything. -.- Dear dear have to call the card centre himself to get a replacement. After that, went to Alexandra, thinking to help dear dear collect his M9 textbook and notes. But end up Zi Ling was sick, she was on MC. So dear dear and I still went down to Jeff's office to find from her table. After that went to the Thai restaurant nearby and had lunch there. Food there was quite nice but the brinjal was really too freaking oily. LOL. The rest was ok la... Price also quite reasonable. And when I just reached Jeff's office, mummy called me.. She ask me what time dear dear dismiss from school. I told her 5. Then she ask me whether I coming over. I told her I don't know yet cos by right I have work at 6.45pm and I was planning to wait for him in school. So mummy say never mind... Then when dear dear and I was having lunch at the Thai restaurant, mummy messaged me. Ask me whether I going over, can help her buy some vege cos Terence brought a sick friend home. I was like, ok lor. Mummy open mouth liao. I come lor, since Terence would be out for his medical checkup. Then guess what, I rushed back to dear dear's house, had to bring her to the doctor again, and still cooked porridge for her cos she haven't eat. All these jiu suan le...

Just now, she die die also wanna come over to sleep at dear dear's house. Die die also want to close door cos she cannot stand any disturbance. Act like some queen like that. I told Terence, she just want your companion cos now she's sick. He say he know. So I told him to bring her to a hotel and just let her sleep but she die die also don't want. And Terence had to beg me to leave the house. But I told him NO. A firm NO. No matter how hard he beg me, I'm NOT gonna leave the house. Reason being; First, I don't know what they will do at home, Second, once I step out of the house, dear dear sure will screw the both of them and will hate her even more. CONFIRM one. I don't know what to do, but I know I HAVE to stay at home. So I told Terence, if she really wanna close door to sleep, the only room available is your parents' room. And guess what, they're really sleeping in his parents' room NOW.

F**k sia. And guess what she told Terence, she say is either she come to sleep at his house today or don't ever meet her anymore. F**k right? KNS. Initially I wasn't that angry and disturbed when Terence told me she coming today just to sleep. It was just now when he go and meet her, then she request lots and lots of things which made me fuming mad! I'm like burning inside la! KNS.

ARGH!!

Getting Married

2010-04-19T15:14:00.002+08:00

Hmm.... So tired lately... Haven't have enough sleep! LOL.

Life's been okay these days... Quite stable and standard... Haha.. Haven't been blogging so decided to blog now.. Haha...

Anyway, there have been more and more people asking me when I am getting married. EVEN cell group members ask us. LOL. Is it a hint from God? I don't know. Haha! I only know more and more people are asking us that question. It might be to due to the fact that we are quite stable for the period of time we're together... Haha... Only 8months as of now... *I seriously can't wait for our one year actually..* Hahahaha!

But well, all still early la.. Deardear have yet to complete his NS and I've yet to build up some financial strength to start a family with him.. So well, all still early la... Haha...

I'm now at deardear's school... So bored neh! :(

Happy happy happy!!

2010-04-05T19:07:00.002+08:00

Hehehehehehehe!

So happy! I finally have a lappy of my own? But before I elaborate on what happen, I shall tell you guys what happened on Thursday first. That night after Maundy Thursday service, daddy drove to some banks to update all their bank books.. Then after everything done, on the way daddy driving me home, he suddenly took out his wallet and gave me 400bucks while waiting for the traffic light to turn green.. I was like.. HUH??!! I keep telling his daddy I don't want.. Then his daddy keep saying, just take and use (cos his parents know that my parents no longer give me allowance though I haven't start work)... Then I keep saying don't want. LOL. And ended up dear dear took the 400bucks. Then he say he bank in into his account. Since nowadays my medical bills and etc all use his account to pay first. LOL. So nice right?? XD

Haha... Dear dear's daddy drove us to Suntec on Friday after the Good Friday Service and saw a new model of netbook on the display.. Then dear dear's mummy was saying, next month I'm gonna start my course le... Then I no lappy, very difficult to study cos the institute is a private institute... And by then dear dear will be starting school le.. Can't be sharing lappy that time le... So daddy ask me want a not. I totally SHOCKED ok?! LOL!! Then mummy say, if I pai seh, next time I get pay liao then slowly repay daddy by installments lor... Then we were saying, this one new model.. Don't know other place got the same model with other promotions not... So we didn't buy that day... We went around few places like Challenger, Harvey Norman, etc but all don't have... So end up? Yesterday after dinner at his house, daddy drove us down and just straight away buy the model. Hehehe... I was so damn pai seh lor... LOL..

And yesterday afternoon, daddy drove them to cut hair.. Mummy nothing to do so when NTUC buy groceries.. And after that went up to find daddy... She was talking to the barber and somehow or another, dear dear and me felt that mummy was hinting us to get married and to start a family... Why? This was mummy's and the barber's conversation.

Mummy: How old are you arh? You cut hair so long already. That old man (daddy) from young let you cut until now old already.

Barber: I this year 60 already. Got three children. Two married already. Now already got one grandson.

Mummy: Woah! You 60 years old got one grandson already arh? He (daddy) also 60 but still have to work so hard. The two children also haven't married yet. You so good. (then laughter went on and on and on and on.....)

Haha.. This was what I meant by mummy's hint. LOL! But anyway, now still early la... Dear dear also haven't finish NS. Haha.. Just let nature takes its course lor. UNLESS? Unless daddy mummy ok with us getting married before dear dear completes his NS lor. Haha.......

Why can't we just stop arguing?

2010-03-29T18:35:00.002+08:00

I noticed some changes in us... Do you??

Why does it seem to me that we're always arguing around the same topic? I don't know how to put it... To you, my parents might not treat me as their daughter.. But there are so many things which they have done just to protect me as their daughter. Years ago when my mum applied the PPO for me, the whole family life changed. Just imagine, my brother who is my mum's most doted child, was being brought to court by my mum. They didn't talk for YEARS. I don't know how to say, but these years, she really did what she was supposed to do as a mum and daddy, also did quite alot for me.. It's just things you didn't see which made you think and feel that they don't treat me as their daughter.. Plus, how do you want them to face a fact that their daughter is pressing charges against her own brother? As a parent, I think I've failed to teach and educate my children to learn to love each other and not to handle things in the violent way. That's why my son will hit my daughter which caused my daughter to sue her own brother.

Just imagine if it was between you and your brother instead of me and my brother.

I must say, I haven't been a good daughter to my parents. Up till now, I still fail my duty as a daughter.

I'm such a failure.

Failed my duty as a daughter.
Failed my duty as a girlfriend.
Failed my duty as a friend.
Failed my duty as a siser-in-law.
Failed my duty as a future daughter-in-law.

What a failure.

I'm now reborn...

2010-03-24T11:22:00.002+08:00

Well... Some things happened these few days... Haven't been sleeping and resting well... Why? Simple.. Cos I was being beaten up by my own brother...

Why he did that? Cos I didn't follow his curfew of having to reach home by 7pm... Sigh...

I'm now full of bruises and seriously aching everywhere... And cos I was afraid to go home, plus auntie and uncle also quite worried for my safety, I'm now staying over with them... To allow me to recover in peace and to keep me away from my brother in case he hits me again...

Well... I don't hate him... Cos this is something which is passed on from the upper generations... So I don't blame him... Moreover, I'm now saved! Saved by God's grace! And through the words of God, I remembered something from the Bible.. Matthew 6:11-12; Forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors". I remembered myself sharing about my brother's violent actions on me during that week's cell group meeting. I remembered I said, "I'm learning to forgive him. Because I cannot deny the fact that he IS my brother."

Sometimes, it might seem difficult to forgive a person who has done you wrong for many many years. But come to think of it, when you do something wrong to another person, you would also hope that that person would forgive you. Isn't it? It's the same logic..

I was reborn yesterday. Why do I say that? Not because I experienced near death situation, but because, I'm now a child of God. I know, whatever things it might be or going to be, there's always God whom I can turn to in times of need.

Thank you Lord! Thank you Jesus! Thank you for sending so many angels around me to let me know that You have died for my sins and to let me know that no matter what kind of situation I might be in, there's always You whom I can turn to for guidance and advice. :)

Just some photos...

2010-03-13T18:54:00.004+08:00

Hmm... Very long never post photos liao!! I shall post some photos today man!! Hehehehe!!

Heheh!! Cute???

Hehe!! This is cuter!! My bao bei!!

Haha.. This is how burnt our hands were after the Sentosa Outing with Takeshi and Hui Ping they all.. All thanks to Takeshi..

Hehehe... Don't get confused.. This is jie jie...

Hehehe... We went Sentosa and had great fun on 5th March! :D

Hehehe.... This is the one which I felt that dear dear looked cuter one.. Hehehe..!

:(

2010-03-07T16:39:00.002+08:00

Ok... I know it's been a long time since I blogged... Haha...

From the time I last blogged to now, too many things happened... Mixed feelings... Haha...

First thing, relationship between Terence and me has more or less been strained again... I don't know why, but something tells me that he actually wanna share but he's afraid... And plus, if I'm not wrong, he's now "officially" together with her?? That's based on my obversations... I not sure also la... Sigh....

Second thing, I've finished my exams!!! Will be attending my graduation ceremony in May if I can clear all my modules for this semester... Haha... But I have a feeling that I won't be doing very well for this semester... Which means?? GPA gonna drop again... Sigh.... BUT OH WELL!!! I'm done with my studies means I'm leaving NYP for good!! Finally!!! Finally I've finished my education... But hmm.... Might be pursuing further studies 2 or 3 years later ba....

Third thing, dear dear and I just celebrated our half year anniversary... Time really flies man... Really hope there'll be many more half years for us to move on!! :)

And forthly, Ah Girl, Eikoh and I went to Sentosa for our long-planned Sentosa outing... Had great fun with them man!! Took on the sky and luge rides with them... Super fun, but kinda tiring... Haha... And after all the fun, we went back to Chinatown for lunch at McDonald's and go back to CK to have a walk.. And to our utter surprise, Ah Long told us a very shocking and unbelievable news... This was EXACTLY what he told us... "My ah tou passed on yesterday night... Yesterday midnight..." Ah Girl and I was damn shocked... Super cannot believe it... But it was not a joke... Cos after that we could see other ex-colleagues collecting "bai jin" as some of them were going for her funeral that night... Sigh... Mei fong was a cheerful and chubby girl... And during the period of time while we were working there, she treat us very good and always joke with us... Sigh.... Such a good girl just gone like that... And totally no sypmtoms of death before that... Sigh...

SIGH..............................

Back to blogging!! XD

2010-02-05T15:10:00.000+08:00

HOHOHO!!! I'm back in my life of blogging!! Heheh!!

Life's been great!! Just abit busy and tiring though... Every moment, it seems like my life is all just about school work and dear dear... LOL!! But oh well, though tiring and do have some unhappiness sometimes, still enjoying life now... Haha...

Prepared lunch for dear dear last week cos the both of us didn't have lessons for one of the days and we're just sick and tired of eating out.. So we ended up heading to NTUC to get ingredients and I did the cooking... Lunch turned out better than I expected.. Cos it's really been a long time since I last cooked! LOL!! But oh well, other than SOME of the ingredients were slightly over cooked, it was still good!! Haha!!

Haha.. An overall view of all the dishes whipped up.. :)

Haha.. This is dear dear's favourite out of the three!! He rated 90plus out of 100!! XD

Erm.. This was not supposed to be in our menu for the day... But auntie said keep a few days liao.... So must well just cook.. Cos abit only.. Haha...

Hehe!! This is Sela Fish... I asked dear dear if he ate before... He said fried one yes.. But not steam.. And though it was abit over cooked, dear dear still preferred the steamed version rather the one they always eat outside (i.e. the fried one)!! :)

Hehehe... And that day when we went Marina Square walk walk, wanted to go Marina Food Loft de Old Hong Kong for lunch, but it turned out that the store closed down!! :( Sigh... So we ended up walking the whole place and decided to make do with Swenson's. And surprisingly, Swenson's is now having a 1-for-1 lunch treat! So ya... Ended up eating there... Cheap and nice. :) But I guess that day the both of us were simply too hungry liao... After a baked rice each, we're still not full yet... So went home and cook maggie mee with vegetables!! OMG!! Haha!!

*Soooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy!!*

ED Day coming!!!

2010-01-21T14:55:00.002+08:00

Hmm...

Haven't been posting for such a long long long long long long long long time... These few weeks is really freaking busy plus freaking tired... No matter how long I sleep, it just seems that it isn't enough... Projects are really draining me... Draining me mentally..

Entreprenuership is coming to an end... FINALLY!! ICA 2B already over le... Left with all the final fine touches before ED day on 6th Feb... Charlie Ng already tell my group I better present for ED day... Cos he says I'm a good presentor and plus I know how to answer questions.. Hehe... So ya... Then that JOVIAN CHAN say, ED day shall be presented by Christy, Hanifa and me. >.<

I scared... LOL...

Well, I hope everything's gonna be fine ba... :-S

:)

2010-01-06T09:02:00.002+08:00

Recently, I found a song which I fell in love with... Totally love the song... It's called "When I'm With You" by Westlife...

Initially, I was attracted to the tune.. Then now? I'm attracted to the LYRICS... Super sweet and meaningful... This is it...

Title: When I'm With You

When I'm With You
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you you you
You.. when I’m with you

What good’s a memory
Without you there with me
The morning sun ain’t the same
Without you here
You are the summer breeze
The wind blowing through the trees
You make the loneliness
All just disappear
Nothing replaces your touch
Never stop believing in us
They try to break us
But we stand strong in love
They’ll be no distance too far
I gotta be where you are (right where you are)

Chorus:
I don’t wanna face this world alone
Without you by my side
You’re the only one
That makes it feel like home
And I need you in my life
When you’re not around I’m feeling
Like a piece of me is missing
When it feels like the day is closing in (closing in)
Somehow I find the faith
To make it through
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you you you
You.. when I’m with you

What’s a photograph
If you’re not in the other half
Why even dream
If I’m not dreaming of you
You make me a better man
Promise I’ll do all I can
Your love keeps me bringing me
Closer to the truth
Nothing replaces your touch
Never stop believing in us
They try to break us
But we stand strong in love
They’ll be no distance too far
I gotta be where you are (right where you are) (right where you are)

I don’t wanna face this world alone (ohh…)
Without you by my side
You’re the only one
That makes it feel like home (feel like home)
And I need you in my life (in my life)
When you’re not around I’m feeling (feeling)
Like a piece of me is missing (missing)
When it feels like the day is closing in (closing in)
Somehow I find the faith
To make it through
Yeah,yeah
Yeah,yeah,
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you you you
You.. when I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you you you
You.. when I’m with you (when I’m with you baby)

Hey I questioned whether time or fate
Would ever show me a sign (ohh)
The moment I saw you
That’s when I knew
I feel it when I’m with you
(ohhhhh…)

I don’t wanna face this world alone
Without you by my side
You’re the only one
That makes it feel like home
And I need you in my life
When you’re not around I’m feeling
Like a piece of me is missing
When it feels like the day is closing in (closing in)
Somehow I find the faith
To make it through
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you you you
You.. when I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you
When I’m with you you you
When I’m with you...

Super love this song.. :)

Anyway, went to wait for dear dear at his school there... Super cui... Why?? Super hot + limited/no connectivity = Super cui... Yeah, that's my equation. :P

Well, he was late for class cos we went for lunch together, then that boy, slowly eat, slowly walk over cos the block next to the place we eating only.. But!! The pro lecturer still ended early. -.- Then after his lessons, we went esplanade library cos outside was simply just toooooooo HOT and HUMID!! Keep sweating lor.. Sweat like free one.. (Sounds familiar?? Yea.. Learn from Terence Fok one. :P)

Ok anyway, we sat at the cafe there, ordered a Signature Pasta and a Ice Passion Tea then we share. (The Ice Passion Tea is a MUST TRY!! Dear dear and me love it!! :> ) Then when the pasta came, we tried abit... Then we looked at each other... Why?? Cos the pasta was tasteless.. Totally no taste at all lor.. >.< So I asked dear dear to go ask the person see if they got packet salt, then we ownself add in and stir lor... So dear dear went ahead... The person say, they don't have packet salt... Only got sprinkle salt then ask him to take... The moment dear dear turned away from the counter wanted to get the sprinkle salt, the person called him back.. This was what she say, "Erm.. Sorry, excuse me!! I forgot to add something to the pasta. Can bring it back??" Dear dear was shocked, but he just brought back the pasta to the counter... Then this was what we analysed... The person must have forgotten to add seasoning!! That's why the pasta totally no taste!! LOL!! We sat down there keep laughing lor!! Damn funny!! But I think the person who cooked it felt damn pai seh.. Haha... And after that when I stopped laughing, baddie dear dear still kept laughing lor... So bad right?? LOL!! (Haha.. Think dear dear will kill me when he sees this. :P )

Oh well, these days super packed and busy... So many projects on hand.... One after another... Next week has got two presentations... Sian... Damn stressed now... Sigh... But still, it has to be done... I don't wanna stay on in here.

And one more thing.. Don't know why... Today dear dear feeling very sian and emo... Don't know what happened to him... But I wanna tell him, Don't feel sian and emo.. You got me!! I LOVE YOU!! Smile more okie?? Your that smile really very cute!! Like your smiles... Especially when you sa jiao in front of me!! :P Love ya!! *Muacks!!*

Sigh...

2009-12-29T15:04:00.002+08:00

Sigh...

So called quarrelled with dear dear this morning... Why?? Cos somehow, I feel kinda neglected... We haven't been spending time on our own for like... A week?? Sigh... Not getting enough attention from him la!! Oh well... Like I said... No matter what we do, there should be a fair balance between work and personal life?? But oh well... How many people can actually achieve that?? I think not even a percentage... Sigh...

But oh well, Christmas just over... Had a hectic, enjoyable and tiring Christmas man... LOL... Besides cleaning dear dear's table and help auntie for the gathering, days of shopping also very tiring... Walk here and there... So much that my butt hurt.. LOL...

Oh well... Was definitely damn tiring lor... LOL... One day after another... Spent with his family... The last time we went out just on our own was like last... Monday or Tuesday?? Sigh... Really miss it... :(

What a special unplanned day... :)

2009-12-23T21:28:00.002+08:00

Hmmm.... Where am I now?? Hmmm.... I'm not out there waiting for dear dear to knock off... But I'm now at his place... Haha... Or rather I should say, I was at his place the whole day lor... Was supposed to be out with him... But!! He hasn't finished packing up his room!! So end up, came over to help him pack his room... Threw away 4 bags of RUBBISH!! Don't know he keep for what... LOL!!

I think auntie was quite impressed that I managed to clean his table until this stage.. Cos it's now, MUCH MORE empty and MUCH MORE condusive... LOL!! Much cleaner and neater lor~~!! Haha... Then Terry?? Haha!! That one, scared of me la... When he know I reaching liao, he faster go start to vacuum his bed and change his bed sheet... LOL!! Then after which, also very guai de pack his things... Just that it's not as neat as how I packed dear dear's table... Haha...

Well anyway, helped dear dear to pack till about 2plus, we (dear dear, me and auntie) went J8 for lunch and shopped for some groceries for present and somethings that auntie needed for the preparations for tomorrow's gathering.. Cos uncle wants to eat salmon... Haha... Then after all the shoppings, came back to supervise Terry to pack his things... Super inefficient... LOL!! For 2 hours (from the time he reached home till we came back), he only touched one little part of his table... -.-

Haha.. Anyway, about 7plus, uncle came back from work... So went dinner with them (without auntie cos auntie went to have dinner with her friend) at Hougang there de coffeeshop... Hehe... Nice nice... Super full after I finished the cup of Lime Juice... Haha...

Oh ya!! I broke a record.. Haha... What record?? I tied my hair for the whole day while I was at his place and even outside... First time ever ever since I cut my hair in April... LOL!! Haha... I know I lame.. But that's the way I am... :P

Today's a happy but tiring and sticky day! :-/

Something random... :P

2009-12-22T21:31:00.001+08:00

Hmm.... Guess what?? I'm waiting for dear dear to knock off again... Haha...

A lot people had been saying... They really salute me for my patience... Can wait for soooooooooooooooooooooooooo long... From like 1plus, wait till 10plus... Haha... And I always tell them the same thing... I'm used to all the waitings liao... So I'm perfectly fine with waiting for bf to knock off one... Haha...

Anyway, Terence got me a box of chocolates as my Christmas Gift!! Haha... Really didn't expect that he'd get me something for Christmas... Haha... And one thing is, this year is my first year that I'm really CELEBRATING Christmas... Haha... Why?? Because of dear dear... As in what sense? Simple. The following are my plans for Christmas this year...

24th December:
Project meeting at 10am for Supply Chain Forecasting... Then afternoon, going shop for dear dear's parents' Christmas present... Then after that, going dear dear's place for the Christmas gathering that his mum organized... Hmm...

25th December:
Going dear dear's church with him and his family.. And spending the whole day with them... Haha...

Might seem v simple plan la... But... To me, it's kinda.... Nervous... Cos initially, when dear dear asked me if I wanna go for the gathering, I told him don't want la.. Cos I pai seh... Even though it's not the first time that I'm meeting his parents la... But still will pai seh mah.. Cos not his mum invite what... UNTIL!! Until yesterday night lor!! They had dinner outside.. Then suddenly ask dear dear if I going for the gathering... Then dear dear say no cos I scared pai seh... Guess what auntie said?? She say, "Pai seh for what? Just ask her to come la." So it's like... OK lor... I go lor.. HAHA!! *Sound very mian qiang... Haha.. Actually not mian qiang la... Just that I'm abit nervous and gan jiong... Haha..*

Anyway, just now had dinner with dear dear at Mos Burger at Bugis Junction... Super angry with the auntie lor!! I ordered two meals, then I told her, I want to CHANGE one of the fries to nuggets.. Then end up, she charge me extra for the nuggets lor!! Damn angry!! *But I didn't know until the food came.. Cos two sets of fries came.. >.< * But anyway, the auntie also counted wrongly for the amount I gave her.. Still give me change some more.. LOL! Haha.. Her balance end of the day sure wrong one.. :P

HAHA!! *Another hour to go!! Aza!!*

Hmm...

2009-12-20T21:10:00.003+08:00

Hmmm.... Why am I posting even though I posted yesterday?? Too free??

Yes... I'm seriously too free now... I'm now waiting for dear dear to knock off then go home together...

Anyway, today's dear dear's daddy birthday... Hehe... Wishing him a very Happy Blessed Birthday!! Hehe....

Poor dear dear... Can't celebrate for his dad... He's kinda a filial son... Not like Terry... Don't even remember his dad's birthday.. -.- Ask him stay at home still tell me see first... LOL loh.. Don't know what to say sia.. Haha...

Suddenly, I don't know why... I feel so worthless... Sigh... Think I really getting depression soon.... Very very very soon..

Some recent updates...

2009-12-19T21:23:00.002+08:00

This was what I posted sometime ago on my another blog... Why did I choose to copy and paste and post it here??? Simply because, I shared this lil story of mine with Terence...

"I didn't forget what I've promised you. But at the point of time when you said broke-up, my whole world already broke down. Everyone used to say that in relationships, it's always about the two parties. But, did I ever had any say about the break-up? I didn't have any rights to say anything. Not even a single word. Because that was something you've thought through it for a very long time and it was something that you wanted? I don't know. I only know although the relationship was about the two of us, but I've got no rights to say ANY SINGLE THING AT ALL.

I don't want and don't need you to do anything now. Simply because, I'm satisfied with life now, even though it may seem to you that I've 糟蹋 myself. But that doesn't bother you I guess. Ya, I can only say, I'm just DUMB. So DUMB to have fallen for you from the start, and so DUMB to have believed in whatever you said. For one thing is, I somehow know the reason for the break-up already. Even though you didn't tell me a single shit crap reason. And for the second, I didn't say you want to get married. I only say that I THOUGHT that you're married by now.

Yes, you can say that I was selfish. I am selfish. But no matter how selfish I was, I truly loved you. And somehow I used to hate you. I hate you for coming into my life without me knowing, leaving my life without telling me in advance and now, coming back into my world AGAIN.

All I know is, ever since the break up with you, everything changed. My world has changed, I changed, everything has changed. The only thing that hasn't change since the break up till now, is the hurt that I'm going through.

如果你是真的为了我好，就请你彻彻底底地离开我，离开我的世界!!!! I don't wanna look back to the past again cos it fucking hurts! "

Well, I'm glad that I've gotten over it and moved on... And all thanks to Dear dear, I managed to really moved on with him... It was definitely not easy to go through the emotional ups and downs... And I'm really glad to find someone who's willing to accept despite my past... It's not easy for a guy to accept the facts la... But oh well, I've found you...

There were so many things which happened for the past few weeks... So many changes that I'm facing in my life... I guess, that's what we call life... Cos Life's Unpredictable... We still have to live life to the fullest no matter how hard it may seem... And honestly, I hope the things I've told Terence the other night, some went into his head somehow... And of course I hope he won't forget his promises he made to me...

I don't know why... The "fire" in me abit subside liao... Haha... Just now was super duper angry... Why?? Read on...

Today dear dear was working at Bugis's outlet... Then in the morning, Terence and his girl went out together to Marina... Called me around 1plus (while I was sleeping)asking me if I want go down play pool or bowling with them... So I was like... Hmm... Just woke up, haven't mop floor... Can't la... Can only get out after I mop the floor and bathe mah... So the two of them was like... Ok loh... Later he send her home then he come meet me and go down find dear dear (the both of them are twin brothers) together... When I was done, I called and messaged Terence and he just never pick up and reply... So in the end, I got no choice but to message Sze Hui. She told me he not with her... I thought something happened between the two of them loh!! I was freaking worried that Terence will go do foolish things cos he can't take the blow!! But in the end, it was all a prank!! Wtf!! I was really freaking worried can!! But it all turned out to be a prank!! Made me felt so stupid for really treating him as my own younger brother!! *Argh*

Sigh.... I really got no comments on the girl he likes... I hope, he'll see the light soon!! :-/

What has this world come to??

2009-12-05T20:10:00.002+08:00

Definition of Marriage

–noun
1. the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.
4. a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage.
5. any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song.
6. a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger.
7. a blending or matching of different elements or components: The new lipstick is a beautiful marriage of fragrance and texture.
8. Cards. a meld of the king and queen of a suit, as in pinochle. Compare royal marriage.
9. a piece of antique furniture assembled from components of two or more authentic pieces.
10. Obsolete. the formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Definition of Romantic

–adjective
1. of, pertaining to, or of the nature of romance; characteristic or suggestive of the world of romance: a romantic adventure.
2. fanciful; impractical; unrealistic: romantic ideas.
3. imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc.
4. characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved.
5. displaying or expressing love or strong affection.
6. ardent; passionate; fervent.
7. (usually initial capital letter) of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a style of literature and art that subordinates form to content, encourages freedom of treatment, emphasizes imagination, emotion, and introspection, and often celebrates nature, the ordinary person, and freedom of the spirit (contrasted with classical ).
8. of or pertaining to a musical style characteristic chiefly of the 19th century and marked by the free expression of imagination and emotion, virtuosic display, experimentation with form, and the adventurous development of orchestral and piano music and opera.
9. imaginary, fictitious, or fabulous.
10. noting, of, or pertaining to the role of a suitor or lover in a play about love: the romantic lead.

Marriage... What a simple term to describe the lives of a pair of married couple.... But what made them decide to get married?? Is it because of love?? Or is it because they're being forced to?? Or even, they just wanna tie each other down so that no one else can snatch their the other half?? I really wonder... What made you said the D-word so easily like as if nothing happened?? You two went through sooooooooooo much just to get together... You two, broke and patched for thousands and thousands of times... You were the one who said that you two getting married was just a matter of time... But why now when you two quarrel for such a small thing, and you could just say out that word??

I used to respect you because I know that no matter how bad or hot your temper is, you're a faithful man. Someone who only have ONE single woman in your heart and noone else. But just why??? What made you said that word?? Don't you know that you've hurt your loved ones sooooooooooooooo deep that she's even willing to go through death for you?? It's not easy to find someone who can die for you know!!

How much COURAGE does she have to pluck up on the day of your marriage?? She walked down the aisle ALONE, mind you!! It is something that would make ALL women live in regret!! Have you spared a thought for her?? CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SPARE A THOUGHT FOR YOUR WIFE?? She's now your wife. No longer just your girlfriend. Not like you wanna break then break those kind of lil boy n lil girl relationship. You're a grown up man for goodness!! Can't you just put yourself in her shoes and spare some thought for her?? Is it really that difficult??

I really hope, that nothing will happen to her. If anything's gonna happen to her, I don't know how am I gonna call you BRO in the future. Please use your brain and think properly can?!

What's being romantic??? Anyone can teach me?? Sometimes, every word has got a different meaning in different people's mindset ba.. What's being romantic... I really don't know... I'm not a natural born romantist... There are alot of other things which I do to me, it is romantic but to you, it might not be... How can we actually strike a balance?? I don't know... I really don't know... As in, for me, I'm sick and tired of men who comes to me and keep touching me here and there.... I believe any girl would feel irritated/offended?? I don't know... But to me, I'm really... I don't know how to say la... I'm just not... As thoughtful as you thought I was, as sweet as you perceived me to be, as caring as you want me to be... There are alot things which I feel that it's really difficult for me to fulfill... I really don't know if it's you or me... Maybe it's just me la... My fault... Just... All my fault...

People move on while I stay put... What can I do??

What a "cold" season...

2009-12-01T18:31:00.002+08:00

Hmm...

Feel like blogging... But don't know what to blog about... Contradicting eh?? Oh well, life's getting chaotic... Studies, personal life and etc... Don't know why, but everything just seem so wrong....

And I really wonder what kinda season is this... X'mas is coming.... Shouldn't it be a season of love, care and giving?? But don't know why, everything for everyone seem so wrong... The whole world seemed to have got into a world of quarrelling... Besides myself, even my friends, more or less, they have quarrelled with someone they love, or they cared for... What is wrong man?! Sigh...

Another trend... End of year = Sick season... Everyone's getting sick too... Cough, flu, sore throat, fever, etc etc etc... It's like... Spreading around la the virus... LOL...

Somehow or another, I think, it's really time for me to stop and think back again... Why have I chosen this path?? Why am I stucked in here now?? Why aren't I progressing at all?? What should I be doing to make things better?? I don't know what I can do... But what I'd like to know... Who can tell me what to do?? Sigh......

WHAT SHOULD I DO????

Arh.. Shit!

2009-11-25T18:03:00.002+08:00

It's seem so long since I last cried...

But yesterday, I really couldn't hold them anymore... I burst out in tears... Without no one know... Somehow, it reminds me of something... Everytime I cry, no one knows... Even if there's someone who knows, it'll only be minimal number of people... One or two... I think the last time I cried was like....... Erm, I don't remember already... But whatever it is... Ya, f it...

I promised myself not to cry anymore, since I've become stronger... But it seems like, that's not the truth... I'm still as vulnerable as I was in the past... Nothing much changed...

Whatever it is, I really gotta stop crying or whatever shit... I was a crybaby since young... Wanna be no more... *I'm gonna be STRONG!!*

I NEED SOME MOTIVATION!!!

2009-11-03T12:58:00.006+08:00

Damn bored... Totally no motivation to finish logbook and report... Damn sianz... I need some motivation sia!!

School life is really damn slack... Super not used to the slackness... Maybe worklife is more stressful and more hectic ba... Suddenly come back school to study again seems WEIRD... Super WEIRD... For example... Everywhere you go, you'll see someone you know... For example... Class end le, then got break here and there... Seriously damn slack... Super not used to it loh... I rather I get busy the whole day working... LOL... Maybe I'm just a borned workaholic ba... That's what alot people say about me... WORKAHOLIC... Haha... Which is quite true in fact... Cos one thing is, I'd rather work my day out then to slack and nua at home or something... At least time pass by easier... As in, cos you get occupied, so you won't notice that time actually passes... So by the time 8hours is gone, it's like, "WOW. That's fast." So ya.... That's just me la... Haha...

Anyway, I haven't posted my D&D photo hor... Haha... This is it...

*Freaking bored!!*

A post for the two of us...

2009-11-01T22:04:00.003+08:00

Suddenly, I thought of this song by Tanya..

"Just the two of us so lonely
Nobody can stop us making love..."

Hehe.. This is part of the chorus for one of her songs (which I forgot the title)... Hehe... This part actually reminds me that no matter what happens, or what is gonna happen in the future, it'll not stop me from being devoted and committed to him and our relationship... Honestly speaking, this relationship really changed me once again... Like I told him, at the start of the relationship, my treatment towards him wasn't really what a girlfriend should be doing la... But that was because I was really afraid... I'm scared that the same thing might happen like in the past and I'll get as hurt as I got in the past... But he proved to me that, he was different... He proved to me that he was serious about me, which after that, made me started to get devoted into the relationship and most importantly, getting devoted to him... I believe he noticed the change in me... Hehe... *If he's that observant*

The following message is for him...

Dear, I don't know how to start... I've got so many things to say to you... Really thank you for choosing me, loving me, accepting me for who I am and still chose to be by my side... Sorry if I've treated you harshly at the beginning of our relationship... Cos I was really very afraid that I'll go through the same thing twice with you... But your actions made me very touched... Especially when I told you about what I went through and what happened to me for the past 1 year, you're still willing to accept me and still dote me as much as before... Or rather I should say, you dote me even more now... It takes alot of courage for a guy to accept a person for who they are and not to say, that person was me... I always laugh at you, suan you and etc... But you should know, all those were just jokes... You know I don't mean it de right?? Haha...

But, there are somethings which I hope you'll stop thinking about... STOP THINKING ABOUT ME LEAVING YOU LA! Because you know I won't... So stop thinking about that!! I hope there's gonna be much more 11 weeks to go through and I seriously can't wait for us to get the couple ring!! Never mind, I'll wait... Hehe!!

Thank you my dear!!

How time flies....

2009-11-01T21:10:00.002+08:00

10 weeks....

How fast these 10weeks have passed... How time flies... All these while, so many things happened for the 10weeks... Shi fu left C&K during my 7th week... And for the first 6weeks, all thanks to him, I managed to learn all the things required for my job scope... I've never thought that he would leave before me... And the most surprising thing was that he wanted an immediate effect for his tender... For the 6weeks, so many jokes, so many craps that he always entertain me with... I miss working with him... Seriously...

After Shi fu left, someone else started to call ME shi fu... And that's Angela... She knows abit about shoe distribution for repeat articles, but she doesn't know and understand how we distribute for new articles... And how we look at Top 10 min max and how we clear invoices... Working with her for 3weeks (cos she got herself one week leave for her China trip) was fun as well... And with all the jokes coming from Ms Lim and Siu Kin... Haha..

But there's this person whom I really wanna thank from C&K... And that's Yu Lan... Even when Shi fu haven't left C&K, she helped me alot especially when Shi fu is on leave or whatsoever... And even if Shi fu came for work, she still help us alot regarding work purposes... Coming to the period where Shi fu tendered his resignation, she'll keep asking me if everything goes on well and asked if I needed any help.... Angela also helped me alot during those days when Shi fu wasn't here... Really thank them hell lots!!

Before I left office that day, I sent an email to my dearest colleagues in Inventory... I hope they'll feel so much like me... I really hope that I'll go back there to work after my exams... *But anyway, I also joining their retail force during my school term... Hehe. Joanne Ong say she want to put me as cashier at WA outlet.. Wohooooo... Hehe..

Whatever it is, I'LL DEFINITELY MISS THEM ALL!!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR TLCs!! :D

Charles & Keith Dinner & Dance, 27th Oct 2009!

2009-10-28T23:10:00.002+08:00

Hmm.... Yesterday's D&D was super fun!! Super high!! Hehehe!!

Yesterday went to Auntie Irene there to do up my hair and make up... Totally never regret at all!! Haha!! It was just a very simple make up that she had done for me and I totally looked so different. LOL. Some people said I don't look like myself at all cos it really made me look so different with the dress, the hair, and the make up. Simple, but yet so me! :)

Anyway, Charles and Kelvin look so hot can?! Damn handsome. Especially Kelvin... Seldom see him in those suits... So he's like... WOW... Hehe... And the time between the second and third round of the lucky draw was dancing time! The music was super high and the atmosphere there was... @.@... Haha... Oh well anyway, left straight after the event ended at about 12.30am... Then shared cab with Kenneth (the one from C&K and not my boy)... He was super drunk and he claimed that he wasn't... LOL... He sweat like hell in the cab and on top of that, he totally sleep loh... So I allowed him to rest his head on my shoulders since he was really.... @.@... But anyway, initial plan was to send me home first then he go home de... But looking at his condition in the cab, I decided not to take the risk... I just told the uncle to just go to his place straight instead... And before we could even really reach his block, he looked as if he feels like vomitting... So in the end, I just asked the uncle to stop near his house there then we alight first. Haha. Lucky I was smart enough... Cos the first thing he could do was to vomit out the minute we alighted the cab.... LOL... So after he vomitted and stuff, I helped him to walk to his block and took the elevator to his floor before I leave... Although he keep saying that it will be fine for him to go hm alone, but I just couldn't make myself to do that... To see someone go home on his own even when I know that he's drunk.... I can't la... That's too hard on me... LOL... But anyway, I left his block after I see him to his floor... Then I took cab back... By the time I reached home was like... Near 1.30am already... So tired... But definitely had a great time... Hehe!!

Whatever it is, yesterday's event was definitely a fun and memorable one! Hehe! Dear said I look nice for my overall look but I just felt that I looked fat... :(

*Looks like I seriously need to slim down liaoz!!*

I wanna know what Love is..

2009-10-22T13:50:00.002+08:00

Class 95 have been playing this song... So this song is currently stuck in my head... LOL... But a super nice and meaningful song though... :)

Title: I wanna know what love is
By: Mariah Carey

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when Im older

In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

Im gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
Ive got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

Ohhh In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
I cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
And I know you can show me

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Lets talk about love

:)

2009-10-20T00:16:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Haven't sleep... I'm still out for supper with Jie at this weeeeeeeee hour... LOL...

Haven't blogged for DONKEY years liao... It's time for me to update about myself abit more... Work at Charles and Keith is actually abit stressful, but overall still ok... It's just time consuming for the work that's supposed to be done loh... BUT seriously, I still enjoy the working life there... At least it's fun working there... And sreiously, I'm really honoured to be invited to join the retail force for Charles and Keith by the Head of the Operations team, Joanne Ong... And the full time Inventory Administrator by Kim, my Head of Department (CKS - Inventory)... Hehehe... Joan even asked me to ask around if there's anyone else who's interested in the job that I'm doing, cos they really need people...

But oh well, received a good news today. Terence finally got discharged today le!!!! He was a confirmed dengue case on Thursday (I think) and his platelet count was dropping everyday, and every night he'll have his fever back... But oh well, HE'S FINALLY DISCHARGED!! Yohooooooooooooooo!! Haha!! :D

*Ok... Jie's lappie wan critical batt le... So can't update much... Shall update some other time...*

2009-10-06T17:07:00.003+08:00

I'm seriously feeling very very very emo... Encountered a double blow today... Got to know two very stunning issues... But oh well, the one which really affected my mood was when today morning, Kim announced that Alex tendered his resignation... All too sudden... Initially, I thought I could really be fine... But I don't know why, I actually cried... I cried in office... Really was too... Sad... So she bu de... All these while, he has been taking great care of me... Yesterday when we were having lunch together, we chatted about so much... But, he didn't mention about resignation at all... It was really... ALL TOO SUDDEN... I guess, I'll really miss him... Miss his TLC, miss his jokes, miss his cold jokes esp... But oh well, it'll all be history from now on... Although we're still friends, but still, don't even know if there'll be a time whereby we'll meet up and have lunch together or something...

Shi Fu!! Thank you so much for all the things you've taught me for the past 6weeks!! Thank you so much for taking care of me!! No matter how I hate to see you leave before me, but I guess, I'll be fine... I sincerely hope that everything will be right and will turn out right for you in the future in whatever you do!! Good luck for your future endeavours!! Take care eh!! You say de arh... Still friends... So must keep in contact okie??!! Will never forget your cold-ness... Haha. Hope you really made a correct decision... :)

GOOD LUCK!!

:)

2009-10-03T10:47:00.000+08:00

Good mood today... Hehe. Finally.. Have been feeling quite down recently though... Don't know why... But at the very least, I'm feeling really great today!

Today's mummy's birthday!! Let's sing her a birthday song!!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to MUMMY!!
Happy Birthday to you!!!

Hehe. Anyway, wish all Zhong Qiu Jie Kuai Le!!! :) Hope everyone enjoy their holidays!!

I'm glad, I've made the correct choice. :)

2009-09-26T18:01:00.004+08:00

Met up with him about two weeks ago. Requested by him. He said, he wants to see me and talk to me. Hmmm.. So after some thoughts, I've decided to face it and just went for the meeting.

He explained to me what happened to him for the past 10 months. And as for me, I told him how I went through the 10 months which were Hell. He felt sorry. Sorry for breaking my heart, and sorry for making me change to the way I am now. But oh well, everything's changed. Even I changed. Honestly, he don't have to feel sorry for hurting me. Simply because, I should thank him instead. If it wasn't because of him, I wouldn't have become as "strong" as now. All this while, I've been very vulnerable. Very vulnerable to all emotional hurts and etc. But he made me learn to be strong. That's something I should be grateful to him about. But anyway, he asked if we could patch up, and let him be the one who love and dote me again. Honestly, I did hesitated. From the moment he initiated the break-up and till the moment we met again two weeks ago, I still couldn't fully let go. It's like... Xin li hai you yi gen ci.... But after when I met him, it was gone. It's like, the answer that I've always wanted, was disclosed. Finally. So to me, it was like a relieve I guess. And somehow, I've already hinted him my answer by then. Though it wasn't very clear.

24th September 2009. Met him about 7.30 at AMK station. The moment he came, I already told him what was my intention in meeting him. I was very straight forward. I just told him, the purpose of the meeting was just to tell him my answer. So this was what I told him (this com no chinese, so I'm typing out in hanyupinyin):

Qi shi wo hen qing xing wo shang ci lai jian ni. Yin wei wo bu zhi dao wei shen me, zhe me jiu yi lai, xin li jiu xiang you gen ci yi yang. Dan bu zhi dao wei shen me, shang ci jian le ni zhi hou, xin li de ci que bei ba le chu lai. Wo xiang ni yi jing zhi dao wo de da an le. Wo shi bu hui hui dao ni de shen bian de. (The moment I finish this sentence, he turned away and teared.) Yuan yin shi yin wei wo bu xiang zai hui tou kan le. Wo xi wang, ni ke yi ba wo wang le, neng zhao dao yi ge zhen xin ai ni, ke yi gen ni yi sheng yi shi de ren. Ba wo wang le ba. Guo ni zi ji de sheng huo. Ni bu xu yao wei wo dan xin, wo hui guo de hen hao. Er wo, ye bu hui wei ni dan xin, yin wei wo zhi dao ni hui hao hao zhao gu ni zi ji de. So, wo shuo le na me duo, ni you shen me xiang shuo de ma??

This was what he say: Wo hui zhun zhong ni de jue ding.

Haha. Shi yi ge yue qian, wo ye shi zhe yang dui zi ji shuo. Yin wei wo zhi dao, bu guan wo shuo xie shen me, zhuo xie shen me, ni ye bu hui hui tou de. Wo zhi xi wang, ni zhen de hui hao hao de sheng huo, qu zhao yi ge neng he ni yi bei zi de ren ba. Ni fang xin hao le, xian zai de wo you ge hen teng wo de nan peng you, shuo yi ni bu xu yao dan xin. Ta hen zhao gu wo. And as of now, wo mei xiang guo yao li kai ta.

This was what he say: Na jiu hao. Wo zhun zhong ni de jue ding.

Wo zhu ni chong jin tian kai shi, neng gou shi shi shun xin. Xin fu kuai le. (Shake his hand.)

This was the end of the talk. After which, he asked me to leave first. Cos I think he don't want me to see him tearing and crying and things like that.

But amazingly, I felt so relieved after telling him that it was impossible for us to patch up. I felt a sudden happiness. Through this, I know, I've made my decision. I've made a correct decision.

I sincerely hope that he'll find someone better than me. And hope this someone can love him as much as I did in the past. Also hope, that he'll not hurt anymore other girls le. It's a big regret for both him and the party. I hope, he'll find his happiness soon. Wish him well.

I'm not sure if he is my happiness now, but as of now, I don't want to keep changing bfs. That's @.@. I only know, I've to be like the past. Devote as much as I can and forget all the unhappiness that the previous one brought to me. *I hope this one wouldn't be like the previous one* HAHA!!

Anyway, I've gotta REST!!! My body's aching like hell now. *Cries* Hehe, but not my heart. LOL! I hope, I can spend more time with you and having enough rest at the same time. HAHA! Wish me good luck for my next five weeks!

*Anyway, Charles and Keith is having company's D&D on the 29th October. From what I hear from Take, interns are also being invited. BUT!!! If interns are really being invited, what am I gonna wear??!!! @.@*

*Faintz*

What can I do??

2009-08-29T14:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I really wonder. Why are there some people in life who would appear and disappear unknowingly?? And the best thing is, they re-appear after disappearing for so long.

I wasted so much time on you. We were together for like about 9months then. But somehow, even after more than 9months, I realise, I haven't got over you totally.

Whenever I hug Xiao Fan Shu to sleep, I'll think of you. Cos that was a birthday gift from you last year.

Whenever I hear some songs that share our memories, I'll think of you. Cos it was beautiful memories that we had across the 9months. Be it happy or sad.

Whenever I listen to "Wait For You", I'll think of you. Cos that was the very first song which "encouraged" me when we just broke up.

Whenever I listen to "When You're Gone", I'll think of you again. And sometimes, I might even tear or cry.

Whenever I listen to "Wu Ding", I'll think of the night when we spend at Pasir Ris Beach.

Whenever I go to the beach, no matter which beach, I'll think of you. Cos that's where we had our happy memories.

Whenever I go to or pass by Bishan Park, I'll think of you. Cos that's the place where you held my hands and that's the place where we kissed for the very first time.

So many things in life (even now) reminds me of you. Maybe that's the reason why I can't get over you totally?? I loved you with all my heart once. But you broke it. This had eventually changed me. I no longer devote as much as I once do. Cos I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

Should I or should I not? What should I do??

Hehe!! :P

2009-08-20T15:44:00.001+08:00

Hmmm... Don't ask me why I post this. I'm just abit random. Haha. But actually I already wanted to post this but I abit forgot liao. Haha!

I realise, my boobs like become smaller liao! Cos I've slimmed down!! LOL!!

Who can tell me why??

2009-08-20T12:39:00.003+08:00

Woooooooooooohooooooooooooo!!!! HRMP paper over!! Was abit easier than I thought it would be (cos of past year exam papers). Hehe. So happy!! All the theory papers over le!!! Haha!! My last lap now for Calculus!! Hehe!!

I'm doing my past year paper for Calculus now. So @.@ lah!! LOL. Some of the questions are abit more indirect... So it's like... Killing alot of brain cells. LOL.

Anyway, Ken asked me to post this yesterday night but I forgot. That thoughtful and lame guy said that my first step into ION Orchard was on 19th August 2009, 4.02pm. Initially he still wanted me to wait till 4.03pm then step inside de... But my leg too long and too big le lah. Already inside liaoz. LOL. Spoilt his plans. Haha. But anyway, yesterday I was damn ke lian can??!! Sister Ken keep bullying me, and keep suaning me. -.- *Sadded* Always kena bullied by him. Then after walking around, we went to Coffee Beans and Tea Leaves for coffee. Then signed in msn using Ken's lappy for awhile... Started talking to Eileen and on the webbie cammie. And I started to realise that Ken and Eileen make a great pair in bullying me!! They super on can?? Both attack me sia. Poor me... o.O

Sigh... I just wonder... Why things became like that??

Ken bully me!!

2009-08-19T19:18:00.002+08:00

LOL.KEN BULLY ME!!! EILEEN BULLY ME!!! I so cham loh. Kena bullied by the two of them. *Sadded*

Why am I with Ken?? Initially is meet him to study de... Cos tomorrow got HRMP paper. Then he got his science paper. Then end up??? Walk here walk there until dont know what time loh. Then now here we are, sitting at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaves... Talking to Eileen on msn Web cam. And the both of them are bullying me at the same time!! Especially Ken loh. Whole day bully me. :(

I want to complain and have my revenge!!! :P

Exams exams exams.....

2009-08-18T09:34:00.004+08:00

Hmm....

Tell you guys something... I slept for 9minutes for the paper yesterday! LOL. I was just... Tired lah... Then my handwriting like hell lah. So slept for awhile. But after the short 9minutes nap, I was feeling much better!! Hehe. So I'm abit more confident for the behind questions. Hehe. Especially Question 5, cos Warehousing Management chapter was the one and only one which I focused alot on. So I did that question. Hehe. Hope I can score for that question to pull up abit lah. LOL. *Although chances are very slim. :(

Tomorrow's Human Resources Management paper. Die lah. So many things to remember. Wonder if I have the brain cells and capacity to remember so many things. *I HATE THOERY PAPERS!!!!* And this is also the reason why I'm looking forward to my Calculus paper!! Hehe. All the mathematics that makes my brain work. ;)

*Hope I can get an "A" for Calculus. If not can knock my head on the wall liaoz.*

Today's gonna be tired...

2009-08-18T09:34:00.002+08:00

Argh!!! I haven't totally finished my revision for Physical Distribution!!! Omg~~! I wonder later during paper how sia. Confirm cui one. LOL. *Fingers-crossed* that wont lah. Haha!!

Just had breakfast... But still no mood study leh. LOL. Anyway, today's is someone's birthday! Haha!! Wanted to get him something de. But seriously don't know what to get and when to get. Cos I'm really too busy due to revision for exams le. LOL. But anyway, jus wanna say, Hapy Birthday Simon!!!! XD

*Today's gonna be a tiring day again... :(

-.-.

2009-08-17T11:06:00.000+08:00

Omg. I seriously don't like 3G can?! Argh!! Things that 3G asks us to study, came out. BUT!!! His questions are freaking tricky loh!! Don't know how to do most of the questions sia!! I hope I can pass for my overall!! I don't wanna repeat any modules!!! Hope tomorrow's Physical Distribution will be much better!!! Omg. That reminds me. I haven't finished my revision!!! But got no mood and no motivation to study sia!!! :'(

Oh well, things settle le. :) *Looking forward to tomorrow!! HEHE!! :P

Three more to go...

2009-08-14T11:59:00.002+08:00

Just finished GSCM paper... 12marks gone.. Cos I forgot everything about Aggregation of Multiple Products in a Single Order without having to compromise EOQ thing... Damn cuiz... But luckily the rest still ok. Hopefully I am able to get a decent B at least. LOL.

Anyway, somethings came into my mind after talking to Kenneth yesterday... I don't know how to say lah, but just somethings that I felt that it might be time for me to give it a thought. A serious thought. Hmm... But for one, I'm too tired to think about it right now and for second, my brain cells are already killed. I've got no more brain cells left to think it properly. BUT!! If I don't think about it now, I might regret one day. Sigh.. I know I'm contradicting. Don't have to tell me that.

Oh well, anyway, I've gotta place my attention more on Purchasing Principles already. If not my results gonna be more cuiz. I don't wanna waste one more semester's module fee and most importantly, I don't wanna waste time. LOL.

One more thing before I sign off, this little note is for Kenneth:

Hey dude, know you very sian and very emotional these days. But, I really hope you'll get over it soon. Like I said, 失恋不是世界末日啊. No point dwelling over the past le. What's over is over. Must let her know that you can live better off without her. If not, it's more difficult to forget the past. Jia you ok?? I believe life's gonna be better for you de!! *Especially with all my lame jokes right?? Haha!! Just remember, no matter what happens, you're not alone. Cos all your friends will stand by you. :)

I'm dead.

2009-08-12T10:50:00.001+08:00

LOL. I'm brain dead already. Half awake only... Feel like sleeping now sia... But oh well, can't possibily ask me sleep right in front of the computer right. LOL. I seriously need a shoulder or a bed (even better) for me to sleep on now. Sigh. My eyes are seriously like, half closed.

I need and want to SLEEP!!!

:D

2009-08-11T11:15:00.000+08:00

So happy!! Hehehehehehehehehehehe!!

Why am I so happy?? Simple. Cos dear surprised me yesterday!! Hehe. I was supposed to be home at about 6.30pm... But Joel has got another tution at 5.30pm, I left at about 4.50pm... So reached home at 5.30pm... So called dear when I reached home... But he didn't pick up, so I thought he went for a jog or something... Then?? He called back like after 10mins... Telling me he's reaching my place in 5mins!!! I was like, "Huh? How come you reaching my place in 5mins??" But oh well, we didn't talk much cos he was at the traffic light... So I just went down to look for him at the carpark he always park his bike... After that just sat at some places (which I don't know how to describe) and talk loh... Honestly speaking, I was initially very tired and moody le... Cos I woke up at 7.30am... But when he came to find me, I totally became "alive" again!!! And in fact, I was really very happy that dear was so sweet can?? So happy lah!! Even Jie was like, "Need to be so happy a not?? You siao arh??" Hehe... But I was really very happy!!

Even until today morning, my mood has been very good... So good that I was singing Poker Face in the room when Jie was doing her make-up. Haha!! Don't care lah. I happy mah!! :P

Although it was just a simple surprise that you gave me, but I was really sooooooo happy! It's just something I can't describe in words. Love you dear!! :D

Don't make yourself regret... :)

2009-08-07T10:30:00.003+08:00

Don't ask me why... But I've just decided to post this randomly... Got this initially from Chiew Hoon on facebook... But didn't go read... Cos too long liao.. Lazy... But anyway, after I've read it, found it super meaningful... SO decided to share this to all....

The story starts like this...

男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家，然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。
——纯纯的“对不起” 。

男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。
男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起，我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。
—— “对不起”的快乐。

大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。
那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。
—— “对不起”也是一种承诺。

婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。
慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不像以前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有一种味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”
—— “对不起”，谎言的开始。

渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。
—— “对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。

女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。
那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己的丈夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子上，******的发出微弱的呻吟声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……
许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩，转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。
—— 这样的“对不起”太伤人。

男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。
快递为男孩送来一个盒子。
男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。

"我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄得遍地麟伤。
离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。
对不起，我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。
—— 原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。

那一年，男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……

Hmmm....

2009-08-05T10:26:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Daddy's on MC today... Cos he's having flu and abit of fever.. So went to the doctor, and the doctor just gave him one or two days of MC... Anyway, I'm supposed to wake up at 7plus today but in the end?? I woke up at 8.30am. LOL. So tired.. Eyes so dry n tired. Abit puffy eyes.. You know?? Like fish eyes... Puffy puffy de... Abit swollen...

Went to Bishan for the ICT interview and photo-taking yesterday... I freaked out before we went. Because, after the third team meeting, then I realise Colleen is in our group as well!! Previously I thought his presence as because of Poh Fong... I really didn't know that he belongs to our group as well!! Haha. Until yesterday when Colleen came up with the idea of interviewing hair saloons, then I realise he's in our group. Haha. I very hopeless right?? LOL!! We took the train to Bishan... When we came out, saw this guy in orange. He keep turning and look at me lah!! Look at me never mind. Before he went onto the escalator, he turned for the last time, but he act as if he wanna kiss me!! I was like, WTF??!! I stunned and gave a very blank look. Then after that, Shalini asked me if I noticed. I told her yes. Then she told all of us that she actually saw that guy before at City Hall. She say he's a nutcase one!! I was like, wth?? Make me felt so "offended". But indeed, he's really a nutcase de loh. Cos Shalini and her mum had another incident with him. Sigh. Anyway, we managed to get our things done in quite a few minutes... But by the time was already 2.40pm... So CABBED back to school with Shalini since she's also coming back school... Sigh.... Don't want say le...

But anyway, we approached Mr. Ong to ask about our IPP (Industrial Placement Programme, i.e. Industrial Attachment) allocations... And guess what?? I am "officially" posted to Charles and Keith (Singapore) Pte Ltd... Why with the inverted commas?? Simply cos I requested for a change. Haha. But still have to see how first... Cos there are still some people who are not allocated a company yet... And anyway, I'm not located at any shop fronts. I'm gonna be located at the WAREHOUSE at Paya Lebar Road. LOL. Ok lah... At least I got one "striaght" bus 24 to go and come back. Haha. But I really wonder about the working hours and the job scope. And anyway, Mervyn Ang is also going to Charles and Keith with me!!! OMG!! That weird person. When Shalini they all haerd that Mervyn Ang is also with me, they were like, "OMG!! Good luck to you" that kind of reaction. I was like, DIE!! Cannot imagine working with him sia!! Sigh... Just my luck...

I don't know how I am feeling now... Abit mixed feelings... Haha. Still abit upset, but at the same time, I'm happy too!! Weird right?? LOL!! I don't know what I'm thinking lah. LOL.

I'm sorry, my dear.

2009-08-04T15:26:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so... Down right now... I just... Feel like crying now... Even such misunderstandings can take place... I must admit, that my attitude in the morning was kinda mean and bad. And honestly, I really felt so guilty... That's why I sms-ed you using Jovian Chan's phone.. But I waited till lesson end, there's still not reply. I was just so scared and afraid that you really took it seriously when it was supposed to be a joke. I really didn't mean to hurt you!!

Maybe, I'm just a failure. A failure in whatever I do, even as a girlfriend. I'm sorry, really sorry.

>.<

2009-08-03T09:25:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I'm feeling this way... He asked me somethings about the past... Some personal things... Somethings which might put our relationship in danger... But I still chose to be honest with him cos I feel that he has got the right to know about it since we already got together... Somehow, although his replies states that he doesn't mind, I sill got scared... I'm afraid to lose him...

And frankly speaking, I told myself that I will tell him one day once our relationship got stable... But now that I've told him and things like that, I'm really scared...

I really don't wish to lose him just because of this issue, cos everyone makes mistakes in their past... But I must admit, I was dumb.

I'm just... Fortunate...

2009-07-31T15:30:00.000+08:00

Haha. My mood very good today. Hehe!! Honestly speaking, sometimes I just feel that life's isn't that boring either.. Not only about work and studies, but also about friends!!

I'm really fortunate to have friends around me when I'm down, when I'm stressed up, when I'm happy, when I'm sad and etc... When I'm stressed up, there's always jokes and all the irritating WORMY talks to entertain me to make me relax... When I'm sad, there's always a ready listening ear for me to talk to... But sometimes, I just feel so guilty when you know that that particular person is actually so nice to you because he likes you... I'm sorry about it, but somethings just happened at the wrong time... I don't know how to say lah...

Anyway, for those who know, I'm happy with everything right now. I just wanna say, Ill treasure all of you as my friends and for the one who isn't my "friend", I'll still love you like how I love my wife and mistress!! Hehe!!!

Finally...

2009-07-24T14:19:00.002+08:00

I've finally been to the doctor already... FINALLY, most of the questions pertaining to my health has been answered...

And answer to all these problems that I have now is: Tonsills. It's all because of my swollen tonsills which causes my phlem not being able to "go down" so, it's moving upwards which causes my blocked nose, and after which, causes my blocked hearing too. And due to my blocked nose, my breathing has been difficult and my heart has to do more job just to ensure that it is pumping hard and fast enough to have just a little more oxygen for the brain... So ya... And she wants me to go for an X-ray for the throat cos it is really swollen till quite bad... Sigh...

I just hope that I'm getting my voice back soon!! I wanna go K!!!

Jia you!!

2009-07-22T13:52:00.002+08:00

Heh... Physical Distribution report is almost done... Left with the Powerpoint only le... Thank God... LOL.. I hope everything would be as smooth as Physical Distribution from now on... I really don't want last minute changes anymore cos it makes the day so crappy. LOL.

Anyway, she talked to me just now.. Make me so stunned and leaves me wondering after her first msg of "hey..".. I thought what happened again. LOL. She apologised for her "rude" attitude the other day... But I guess, my tone wasn't every nice as well... Haha. So I apologised too.. But oh well, nothing happened, nothing went wrong.. Just that she's abit vexed over work stuff... Gave her some advise. Wonder if she'll listen and understand. Haha. Just don't hope that people around me is living well, healthy and most importantly, HAPPY. Being happy is the "key" to alot of other things in life, isn't it? Just hope that everything is gonna go well for her. If it doesn't, then it might be time for her to reconsider her future path le. Cos no point staying in a company that you're not happy working with. Work is gonna follow you FOREVER. Just like love. So, just hope that she's making the right decision for herself. I'm in no position to decide for her. Only she can do it herself.

Lastly, just want to say this to her: Be HAPPY, Becky!! Look forward and move on!! Don't bother about how people look at you. Most importantly is how you look at yourself, cos it's YOUR life. :)

I'm gonna recover SOON!!

2009-07-21T14:31:00.002+08:00

Forgive me...

Forgive me for not being able to go to the doctor yet... It's been freaking busy these days... It seems that there's endless things to do!! Be it project or even normal tutorials... And best thing is, I'm having a quiz for Calculus on Friday and I haven't started revising. Best. I've got nothing to say about myself already. Sigh. Sometimes, I just feel that I'm so CMI. Hmm...

Finished one presentation this week le. Global Supply Chain down... Coming up next is Physical Distribution and Warehousing Management... Next Thursday would be Purchasing Principles and E-Procurement and Friday, International Business... But that's not the end... Cos after next week, we have one more due which is ICT in SCM Applications. Omg... It's really like... ENDLESS... When can I ever take a break?? I feel so restless every now and then... And seriously, there have been warning signs already... It's really time for me to take good care of myself before something bad happens to me again. It's just time for me to go for a body check up or a blood test. Sighs....

I'm gonna be ok!!

Holy shit!!

2009-07-19T18:28:00.002+08:00

LOL...

I seriously need to see the doctor tomorrow (if I can)... It's the second time I fainted already. Yesterday was the second time.. I seriously don't know why I fainted... I woke up at 12.20pm when Jie woke me up before she left the house. Mum came home at about 1pm then started to prepare for lunch... She finished doing her things at about 2.20pm... So I came out of the room to help her do the washings... Then wash till half way, suddenly felt giddy.. So I wanted to stop the washing and go and sit down on the chair first. But I don't know why, I just suddenly fainted and I've got no sense of consciousness... I just fell and there I was, lying on the floor with one of the chairs... And the best thing was... I don't know what I hit lah... I only know when I regained sonsciousness, the corner of my right eye hurt like hell!! And it's swollen!! Sigh... Don't know if I hit the table or the chair lah... I only know right now, my eyes is swollen and it hurts!! So, I seriously need to see a doctor tomorrow before I faint for the fourth time in my life...

But oh well, it seems like my sense of hearing also got affected loh.. My right ear can't really hear things properly.. Cos like there's something which blocked the sound from entering into my hearing system... LOL.

Looks like I really need to take GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD care of myself already... If not, it might be too late...

Is it too late?

2009-07-16T11:25:00.000+08:00

Have you ever heard that relationships have to be tested before you can finally say that the relationship between you and someone is true?? Tested in the sense... Something bad happen and the two of you still can be together, the relationship between the two of you are still as strong as before.. Or even stronger...

Some people might agree to this... But there's this sentence I've came across before...

"Relationships are meant to be MANAGED, not tested."

How true is this??? I don't know... I don't know how to manage a relationship anymore... Simply because... Relationships are just toooooooo FRAGILE... Heard of the song "I still believe" by Vivian and Gary?? There's this line which says...

"爱情就像水晶球，坚固而脆弱"

But I don't think so... Because 坚固而脆弱的不只是爱情，因为亲情和友情也同样很脆弱... Isn't it?? So in the end, not only love is fragile... All other relationships can be broken so hard so easily... What's the point?? Sometimes I really wonder... Maybe this is what all of us have to experience during our years... But isn't this so cruel?? Having to know that not all individuals are true to you... Hypocrites, I guess that's the word to describe...

But who knows why they are like that?? Like what mum likes to say all the time... 环境所逼?? In order to protect one's self, one has to be like the people around him/her so as not to get hurt?? Oh well, I don't know and I don't wish to know for the moment...

Sometimes it hurts so much to know that relationships are so easily breakable... But when you start to regret, everything seems to be too late... You might not be given another chance.. You might not have appreciated this another chance... You might want to appreciate this one last chance but others around you left you with no choice that you could choose... I really wanna know... What is that in me or others that led to the break of a relationship??

Frankly speaking, till now, although I do have some reasons in mind why Andrew dumped me, but I still wanna know the true reason... Why is it so easy to say 分手就分手?? Sigh... It's over... I always tell this to myself... But is it so easy to forget someone just like that?? 说想忘就能忘吗?? If it is so easy to forgo someone that you've loved truly with your heart and soul, no matter how deep the hatred is, trust me, there's still love... You still love the person... 没有爱，就不会有恨... 这句话真的很对... 爱得越深就恨得越痛... 到最后，只知道自己的世界里只有恨，没有爱... 但其实自己的心里某一处还是有爱的... 不要到最后一分钟才发现自己还爱着这一个人... 才后悔... 太迟了...

After 268 days...

2009-07-15T13:20:00.000+08:00

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when Im alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were meant for each other
I'm here forever
I know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

Will you ever know??

2009-07-13T11:59:00.004+08:00

Maybe, I'm just not worth the love and attention.

Will you ever know??

2009-07-13T11:59:00.002+08:00

Life's so unpredictable.

All I can say is, maybe if there's a day where I die of H1N1, everybody's life would be much better.

This is a fact. Something I can't hide, something that's known by everyone. My existnece in this world would only bring unhappiness to all. I know.

Sigh...

2009-07-09T18:12:00.002+08:00

Hmm... Though I somehow expected the results for the Purchasing test wouldn't be very good, but somehow, I was still sad and disappointed. Sigh. So what if Calculus was ok? But still, I have to admit that I'm not a all-rounder. I'm only someone who is a failure. A failure in everything that I do.

But what's done cannot be undone. I shall move on. Test is 20%. Exams is 40%. Double the weightage. Oh well, I'll just have to move on and that's it.

I'm gonna jia you, jia you and jia you for tomorrow's Calculus Common Test!!

Too many unsolved question marks

2009-07-02T09:17:00.003+08:00

Don't ask me why I chose to blog in this early morning... I've got too much mixed feelings already..

Why?? Why?? Why??

Why did mum chose to give birth to me?? Six years. Six years of consideration where you regretted. Why does he have to think that I'm using that stupid PPO as a shield?? It is not!! Ever since things happened, you think I felt good?? How does it feel when you know you're the cause of everything?? Every single UNHAPPINESS that happens?? I knew these kinda things would happen. It's just a matter of time. Who would feel a slight of happiness when things between you and mum were like that BECAUSE OF me??

I'd always think... Maybe... Maybe mum shouldn't have given birth to me. Without my presence, the world would be much peaceful right?? With just the four of you. Without me. Life would much better without me. That's a fact. Maybe I should be like aunt. Die at a young age. It'll be better for all I believe.

Sometimes, I really feel that I'm redundant in this world.

To: All my friends.. :)

2009-06-29T16:40:00.000+08:00

This post... Is for all my friends...

To Eileen: Girl, stop partying!! It's time to really get down to work!! LOL!! Hope to see you real soon!! Miss ya!!

To Takeshi Sister: Hope everything's gonna be fine and well for all your events!! And not to forget, your girl too!! Hope she's gonna recover fully soon!! :)

To Ah Girl: Hey GIRL!! Don't forget our date this Friday!! I'm looking forward orh!! :)

To Alvin: Don't know what happened to you... You seem to be so sian and so sian everyday... Cos of work?? Or cos of her?? Don't worry too much lahz!! Everything will be fine!! *SMILE!! :D

To Darwis: Hey!! Stop being so thick-skinned lah!! :P HAHA!!

To a friend: Don't be so pessimistic!! Everything's gonna be fine for you and your friends!! Jia you orh!! Anything just come and talk to me okok?? Don't keep everything to yourself!!! I'll get worried!!

To Gohch: Thanks for being by my side whenever I needed a listening ear!! Thanks thanks thanks!! Thanks a million!! *And don't forget... You're gonna bring your doggie to me when you come!! HEHE!! :P

To Erik: Haha. Don't be emoz over MJ already lah... He's already dead. There's nothing you can do to revive him. Remember him in your heart bah!! Cos that's what I'll be doing. Perhaps I'm not a great fan as you for MJ, but I still feel sorry for don't know what reason, Especially when I hear his songs. Jia you orh!! :)

Thank you guys... Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone. So this post, is specially dedicated to you all. SMILES!!

;)

2009-06-29T11:46:00.002+08:00

Tee hehe... I've watch my Dance Subaru... FINALLY!! It's a nice movie. Definitely worth watching twice!! *Nice nice... :)

And guess what, I realise, I've been watching so many movies this year loh... I watched 7 movies for the last few months. And this amount is somehow equivelant to the number of movies I've watched in the past two or three years loh... Haha... Power right... And I still have some others that I still wanna watch but haven't watch one... Haha... I'm so into movies this year. Don't know why.. Haha..

Don't know what happened to me... Getting sick sia.. Sore throat and I'm feeling freaking tired.. No matter how much I sleep, I'm still feeling tired... BUT no fever. So no worries... :)

Haha... I hope I get well soon! XD

Will plans really work??

2009-06-25T10:38:00.002+08:00

Sian!!

Was supposed to watch Ghost of Girlfriend's Past yesterday night with Da Sao and Jie one... In the end?? Never watch!! Why?? Cos the next two timeslots was almost full!! Only left with the seats at the first two rows loh~~!! Then Da Sao and I was like thinking... We don't wanna have a neakache tomorrow man... So must well watch another day... Then Jie was at Bugis, so asked her to check the one Bugis... I think also sama sama lah... Need to wait till 9.45pm... Hmm... I and Da Sao was actually ok with it de... But, we're thinking, I cannot go home too late... Later mum nagged again... Then Jie also... Last minute need to meet client... LOL!! All plans spoiled... Sigh... So sian...

And speaking of mum... Don't know what happened to her... She was supposed to work today de loh... Then come back out of a sudden, then yell here yell there!! PMS loh her... Then make Jie also very pek chek.. Bro also... ME also... I was like... So wth lah!! But oh well, I don't wanna know!! >.<

Movie Movie Movie!!

2009-06-24T13:47:00.003+08:00

Hehe...

Honestly, I don't know what to blog about lah... Just that Gohch ask me why haven't update... So decide to come here blog about some craps?? Haha!!

Anyway, I want to watch these movies!!

I was supposed to watch Dance Subaru with Jie one... But she keep changing our date... Sigh... Busy people is like that de wor~~... And as for Ghost of Girlfriend's Past, was supposed to watch with Darwis de... But that day he got dragged to watch with his other bunch of friends... LOL!! Sian loh... I wanna watch!! Sigh... But oh well, I realise I have the urge of watching movie these days. Maybe because there are really quite a few which I'm interested in bah... Haha... I also wanna catch Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs and Trail of the Panda!! :)

Threads of Destiny, maybe?? :)

Hehz... Ok, I've gotta go back to work le... If not Michelle will kill me when she sees me again... Haha!!

:)

2009-06-22T14:53:00.003+08:00

Happy Belated Fathers' Day to my 宝贝老爸!!

Had a scrumptious dinner yesterday!! Initial plan was to go Jack's Place de... Cos Daddy like to go Jack's Place... But Mummy say don't want... Cos there expensive and the food is no longer as nice as before le... Some more Mummy damn power lah... Ask her not to cook liao but she still cooked porridge for her lunch... And it's one big pot loh... So she say just 随便 eat eat then not full go home eat porridge... >.<

So sian loh... Plan spoiled... So ended up eating Zi Char... LOL... And the dishes we ordered were: 2 Yam rings, 1 Cereal Prawn, 1 Black Pepper Crab, and 1 铁板豆腐... No rice... But all of us still very full... Cos of the yam ring... The yam ring damn nice loh!! *Yummy Yummy!! So Mummy ended up ordering two of it... LOL... And the crabbie so nice lah!! Spicy spicy de... Nice nice!! :)

And the initial plan for yesterday after dinner was to go movie with Da Sao and Jie one... But Mummy don't allow... Sigh... But oh well, we still went to walk walk after dinner lah... Went NTUC with Da Sao and Jie cos Da Sao wanted to get a new pillow for herself... And she got hers... And Jie damn pro can?? She got a pillow and a bloster for Nash as his birthday present... *Dot dot dot!! What a special present eh?? LOL!!

Anyway, watched "Land of the Lost" with Da Sao on Saturday... Wasn't as nice as I expected... The story line became damn lame from the middle part onwards loh... Keep wondering why the movie haven't end yet... Can't wait for it to end loh... So draggy... But oh well, didn't regret lah... Cos although it was lame, it was funny for some parts as well... XD

It's been sometime since I last packed my room... And I did it last Saturday... Cool... Threw away so many things lah... But didn't throw away the things Andrew gave me... Haha... They are all memories... 我不舍得丢... LOL... And as I was packing up my stuffs, I found something... My present and birthday card from Kenny... My good god-brother... Really miss him to the max... I nearly cried when I saw those things... It's been so long since we last met loh... Like 2years ago?? I'm not the only one trying to contact him... Even Ah Long and Ah Low had been trying to contact him but to no avail... Sigh... Don't know where is he... He's really a nice brother... He treats me like his real sister loh... He talks to me during work, consoles and advises me when I'm sad, give me surprises now and then... I can say, he's somehow a wonderful brother... But, where is he??? All of us tried to contact him ever since he resigned... But no one could get to him... My good god-brother!! Where are you??? We all missed you so much!! We can't wait to see you again!!

Sigh... Don't understand why I'm always being misunderstood... Any problems with the way I communicate??

Who's the noble one??

2009-06-19T14:20:00.002+08:00

LOL...

Guess I've broken my record again... Yesterday was a puasa day... Didn't had anything since the moment I wake up in the morning all the way until about 8pm... Power right?? LOL!! So basically I didn't have breakfast, didn't have lunch... Only dinner... Damn hungry at night liaoz... Nearly fainted when I reach home loh... Sighz...

Sent my HRM stuffs to Michelle le... But need to work out the script liaoz... Time's running out... Haha!!

*Another project rushing time!! I've got 6 on-hand!! Help!!

Got Dragged Into Hell for about 2 hours... LOL

2009-06-18T12:40:00.002+08:00

:)

Watched "Drag Me to Hell" with Darwis yesterday afternoon... Before Mel went back to Indonesia, she also wanted to ask me to watch with her... But oh well, she manage to find her boyfriend to watch it with her in Indonesia... THen Leen?? She suddenly change mind... LOL...

What I can say is... I abit regretted playing the good girl... The movie was freaking scary loh!! And this is like the second or third horror movie which I watched cinemas... Even at home, I also don't dare to watch horror movie lohz!! Sigh... Ended up screaming in the theatre lah (not as loud as the 4 secondary school girls sitting beside me though)... LOL~~! Initially before the movie started, I was startled by the thriller for "The Final Destination"... The sound effect too power liaoz... No choice... I too timid liaoz... And when the movie started... I was scared already... Cos the first scene already so scary sia... Then Darwis said, "You can hold my hand if you're scared..." But I told him no need lahz...

BUT... He still know that I was toooooo afraid liaoz... So he took the "first step" by holding my hand abit... Then after which, I was too scared already... I just held one of his hands... I really cannot take it liaoz... And honestly, I even felt leaving first then I wait for him outside... But, don't want to be so bad lah... Later I'll feel bad also.... But when the movie is really getting onto tracks, I was so scared, that I held both of his hands in the end... And I kept screaming lahz!! Too freaking scary liaoz... No choice... I really needed some support.... Badly... Haha... So basically, I screamed throughout the movie and held his hands throughout the movie...

Frankly speaking, I hope I didn't scare him with all my screams... LOL!! I'm still traumatized.... Even after a day... Haha...

And best thing is... He already booked me for "The Final Destination"... The feeling that it gave me was that "The Final Destination" is abit like "Knowing"... Haha... But oh well, I guess I don't mind?? :)

After movie was Subway lunch... Shared the cookies and the drinks with him... Cos I couldn't finish... And after that?? Headed down to City Hall Interchange cos Jovian Chan said meeting at 5pm... But?? Actual time was supposed to be 5.30pm... Darwis was already nice enough by sending me to City Hall before he heads back to Orchard cos he needed to go home to grap his lappy and then meet his client at 6.15pm at Bugis... So we reached City Hall at 4.45pm... Waited for all of them for more than an hour loh... Cos Benjamin (a student exchange program student from France) was late... >.<

Walked to the Singapore Flyer and after which went into Popeye's cos we had to choose one shop/store... Then most of them chose Popeye's... And Benjamin treated me and Jeffrey cos it was also our first time to Popeye's... I only ordered a fries cos home also got dinner... :)

Whatever it is, I had a great day yesterday (although I was really tired)!!!

I'm fine!!

2009-06-16T09:01:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Felt so much much much much better after talking to Leen and Take yesterday afternoon... Met Leen for lunch yesterday cos I sounded weird when I talked to her on the phone on Saturday... Everything seems to be so sudden... Told her everything... But when Take came to ask me, I just don't feel like saying liao so I asked him to ask her... *Dotz...

Anyway, I gave what Take told me yesterday a thought... He's right... And I'm glad, I'm no longer emo liaoz... I'm walking this out... BUT, not alone!! :)

Indeed, I'm able to smile from within... I'm really glad that I actually told them about it... And now, I'm fine!! Perfectly fine!! Even when I listen to those songs, I'm not feeling anything but happiness!! Yes, HAPPINESS!! I guess, that's what they always say about having quality but not quantity friends... I'm so glad that I'm determined to walk out of all these...

To those who know about it and worry for me, thanks for the support you guys have given me!! Not to worry, but, I'm fine already!! I'm not gonna dwell over it anymore!! No worries wor~~! :)

Hates myself...

2009-06-15T09:42:00.003+08:00

Why is life just so f***ed up??!!

I really don't understand why sometimes I know someone like that...

What's wrong with me??!!

Feel like killing myself!!

I don't know what to do...

2009-06-09T13:31:00.004+08:00

Frankly speaking, I feel so fortunate that I have Gohch as my friend... He's always so there for me... Being so sweet towards me... And always making my day when he knows that I'm unhappy, or when I'm stressed out... He's always so prepared to be there for me... How fortunate I am!!

This was the series of jokes that he told me and make me ended up really laughing from within... (Cos he knows that I'm very affected by the fact that I wasn't able to do the Purchasing Principles' test and I was very sad...)

“我再问你。”
老妈："use your head, then think it over.” 又是什么意思呢？”
我说：“动动你的脑子，再仔细想想。”
老妈：“死囝仔，还敢耍我？！” 接着又要动手。
我连忙说：“是世上只有妈妈好的意思。”
"嗯，这还差不多” 老妈："等一下我做好吃的给你吃，下次再问你。”
我终于松了一口气...

老妈：“这个“I don't know.”是什么意思？”
me say:" 我不知道。"..
老妈：“送你上大学读了几年，你怎么什么都不知道？！”
我说：“不是！就是“我不知道”嘛！”
老妈：“还嘴硬！”
说完老妈给了我一巴掌...

mother :" I know 什么意思."
我说：“是“我知道”。”
老妈：“知道就快说。”
我说：“是“我知道”。”
老妈：“你皮痒是不是？”
我说：“就是“我知道”呀！”
老妈：“知道你还不说？不懂不要装懂！”
老妈又给了我一巴掌。

"I'm very annoyance, don't trouble me.”是什么意思啊？”
：“我很烦，别烦我。”
老妈：“欠揍！跟你妈这么说话。”
于是，我又挨了一巴掌。

再问你最后一个。
老妈：“你给我翻译一下，“I know but I don't want to tell you。”是什么意思？”
我：“………………”
我拿起枕头往自己头上猛Ｋ三十几下，用头撞墙三十多下，用脚踢桌角三十多下，双手轮流掌嘴三十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：“这下你满意了吧？！”

mother ask: I hear nothing, repeat.
我说：“我没听清楚，再说一次。”
老妈又说了一遍：“I hear nothing,repeat.”
我说：“我没听清楚，再说一次。”
我：“噢～好痛! ”

You see... He's just so sweet!! Super know how to coax me can?! Sometimes I really wonder... If things work out for the two of us, what will things be like?? But somehow, if he's too nice, I'll also feel guilty... Cos I'm not a very nice girl as well... So ya...

*I'm so lucky I'm so nice (Sounds familiar eh??) Haha!!

Anyway, IB is finally stepping onto the final stage of all the editing and Powerpoint slides... Argh... This is a crazy module (I have to admit although I like it)!! LOL!! All the research and report stuff is really killer sia... Some more Ms. Cheong's has got such high expectations... Die... Tomorrow's presentation don't know how also...

Sianz!!

>.<

2009-06-09T13:31:00.002+08:00

Damn freaking TIRED!! Rush IB like hell... And it's really like HELL...

This year's birthday was slightly different... Had mixed feelings... Don't know why... Haha...

Went to the fish footspa at Bishan Park with Jie after dinner at the Zi Ca near our house... It was a total different experience!! It was itchy can?! And a little painful actually... Haha... And the best thing is, my leg from one colour become two... Cos after some of the dead skin was being bitten off, the skin became fairer... But for those areas which were not bitten, my skin still remains tan... So it's like there's two tones on one calf... >.<

LOL!!

*IB really makes me feel so drained out!! *

A horoscope analysis of me...

2009-06-08T10:32:00.005+08:00

This was sent to me by Gohch... Decided to post this cos I felt that this was freaking true...

双子座
　　
双子孤傲是因为他们自信，双子善变是因为世界在改变，双子没有耐性是因为他们发现了不值得，双子冷漠是因为他们害怕被伤害，双子花心是因为他们没有找到真爱，双子不在乎是因为你没有看到他们的敏感。

双子们的笑永远都是最单纯的，无论什么时候你都会看到一直都在笑的双子，因为他们一直都只想把自己的快乐带给别人，却只把悲伤留给自己，你没有看到过双子的眼泪是因为他从来不会在被人面前哭，当你看到双子的眼泪的时候，那么说明你是真的把他们的真心夺走了，因为双子真的很需要一份值得的依靠，他会每时每刻的在乎你的一切，他们很敏感的，会跟着你的快乐而快乐，跟着你的忧愁而忧愁，跟着你的改变而改变，但在你面前他们从来都是快乐的。

一提到双子的爱，一般人肯定都会说:双子座的人最花心。可是是真的是这样吗？双子和异性的关系好只是因为他们非同一般的亲和力，而双子的真心只有一个，当他找到的时候，他就会付出自己的一切让对方得到幸福，他要的不是他自己能和对方在一起，他要的是对方的幸福，和双子在一起会感到很随和，因为他会包容你的一切，你的一切优点和缺点，和双子在一起绝对不会觉得被锁住，你只要做自己就好，因为双子喜欢的就是真实的你，做作的人根本不会得到双子的心。

有人说双子很坚强，什么都不在乎，是阿，表面的双子确实很坚强，但是内心他们比任何人都脆弱，也许这也是风向星座的人的一个特性，决不会让别人看到自己脆弱的一面，因为他们都是一个有一双别人看不见翅膀的天使，天生就会给别人带来快乐，双子们的眼泪是透明的，别人看不见，可是自己却能看得很清楚这样的透明的泪给自己开来双倍的痛。　　

双子们的人缘很好，因为他们懂得你什么时候需要什么样的帮助，而且双子们会根据不同的人有不同的交往方式，双子很容易相信别人，所以经常会被欺骗，可是在欺骗后他们仍然会轻轻的笑笑然后说：没关系的，他骗我肯定会有原因。双子从来不会知道后悔是什么，因为他们时时刻刻都在为别人想，总会设身处地，可是这样别人根本就不知道，就是因为他帮助别人太多了，所以在他需要帮助的时候却总是孤立无援，然后继续的笑着，笑着找到一个角落，留下那颗透明的泪。　　

当双子的朋友真的很幸福哦！因为当你遇到什么困难时，他会比你更着急，甚至会失去自己宝贵的东西也会帮助你，他会带给你快乐帮你分担忧愁，可是你却看不到他的孤独和无助，当双子看到你不高兴的时候，无论这时他有多么的郁闷，他也会立刻露出最真实的笑容来帮助你。

说双子善变，那只是片面之词，对于双子真正喜欢的东西，它是会执着的让人害怕的，就是因为内心太像小孩子太单纯，所以对于他们真正喜欢的东西，他们是根本就不知道放弃是什么的，除非是他们自己发现这个东西不值得，否则他们是绝对不会放弃的，只要是他们肯定的，他们就会有超出别人很多的坚持和执著。　　　　　　

双子的自尊很重要，对于他们最重要的恐怕就是这个了，他们懂得原谅，无数次的去试着原谅，就算别人让自己千疮百孔，他们也会无条件的有自己的宽容，有自己的原则和原谅，就是因为他们的自尊，他们的自尊心让他们相信这个世界永远都是最美的，因为他们的自尊不允许自己放弃这个世界。　　　　

在双子的世界里没有分享，只有是你的或者是我的，他们不会把一样东西去和别人分享，因为他们认为这样对那样东西是不公平的，因为他在乎每一个人每一样东西的感觉，只要他认为这件东西是自己可以割舍的，他绝对会无条件的退出，去成全别人，对于欺骗过他们的恋人，他会选择原谅，但绝对不会再和他们在一起，因为他懂得这样不值得。　

双子座的人真的很可爱，真的很需要人的保护和安慰，他们不会放弃世界，却会放弃自己，去成全别人，他们懂得原谅和理解，无论这一秒他有多讨厌一个人，下一秒看到那个人脆弱的一面，他还是会去无条件地帮助他，真的很傻吧？但是傻的好可爱，好让人心疼，痛过以后，他们依然会笑着面对以后未知的路，继续原谅，继续理解，继续快乐，继续的傻着，改变双子真的很难吧？因为他们的心都是金刚石作的，但不是说他们无情，他们的执着只是针对自己的，那么孤傲的一个人，也只是针对自己，因为他们不知道怎么表达自己的内心，所以他们选择了沉默。

Sigh...

2009-06-05T18:12:00.002+08:00

Calculus's quiz just ended... It constitudes 15% to my overall...

It's... Freaking DIFFICULT can?! I was like... What the hell...

*Busy with IB... Shall post another day... >.<

I love you!! :)

2009-06-02T15:51:00.006+08:00

I've decided to blog because someone just made my day... This was the joke that Gohch told me to keep me entertained just now...

一天，一个老外与老夫子在画展正在观赏一幅画，画被题名为“沙滩上的太阳”。老外好奇地问老夫子：“What does that mean？”老夫子：“The sun of the beach。” 结果老外把老夫子痛揍一顿。

Anybody understand the joke?? The foreigner hit the old man cos he thought that the old man was trying to say that the foreigner was a "son of the bitch" and cos the old man also got pornounciation problem!! LOL!! This is freaking funny lah!!

Gohch really know how to make my day man... He always entertain me without fail... Even when times when I'm attached, he also do that... For the past one year, no matter what, he always know how to coax me, entertain me, make me happy and etc etc... I'm so lucky to have found a friend like him!! He's such a wonderful friend~~~~!!

Just finished IB's discussion... I'm in charged for the question on water issues between Malaysia and Singapore... Nice...

This year is passing real fast... It's alraedy JUNE!! Half a year gone just like that... Omg... Looking back... Better don't look back... Looking back will make me emo... Haha... Oh well, let's just look at life ahead, shall we?? Third year first semester like coming to an end soon like that... Half of the semester has passed... I realised, I quite like my modules this year...

I have 7modules and they are:

ICT Applications for SCM;
Global Supply Chain Management;
International Business;
Human Resources Management and Practices;
Purchasing Principles and E-Procurement;
Physical Distribution and Warehousing Management, and;
Calculus.

Oh well, the only two which I totally dislike would be ICT and Purchasing Principles... I totally don't know what 3G is talking for Purchasing Principles and ICT is way too dry and too IT for me le... I'm not the IT kind... Haha... And the ones which I love will be: Global Supply Chain Management, International Business, Calculus and somehow, I'm starting to fall in love with Physical Distribution... I like Physical Distribution is because it's easy to understand although there's alot of information to absorb... And it's very much linked to Global Supply Chain Management... :)

*Just a random last sentence, love you!! (You guys should know who are the people I love!! (: )

Hopelessness

2009-06-01T09:35:00.000+08:00

Tired... Still, voiceless...

Yesterday's event was... Don't know how to say... There's not much of a crowd... And the crowd was really moving... Most of them were at the Car Boot there loh... Lol... Somehow, Takeshi and I manage to sian till we stay there for the whole day... Haha... Waited for Leen to come at about 3plus then after that had KFC lunch with her (cos that's the cheapest place at ECP)... Had a stroll at the beach after lunch, and there comes my emo-ness... I'm too emotional and I know that... But that's just me... Leen so cute lah... Scared I do something foolish... Keep asking me not to cry and not to do foolish things... Lol... Know she cares for me, but worry too much le lah...

After going through so many things, I won't cry anymore... Cos I've dried up my eyes le... No more tears already... How to?? Sometimes, it feels much better to cry it out rather than not being able to release out the emotions... That's very 辛苦 you know... Sigh... Really wanted to cry out, but really can't...

Cannot be that emo later le... Cos meeting Mel for lunch... She's flying back this Wednesday le... Wonder if I am able to send her... Oh well, depends on the time of her flight... Hope I can make it...

Excited!! :)

2009-05-31T08:53:00.002+08:00

Haha... I'm currently at Take's place right now cos later we'll be leaving for Big Splash le... Having an event today... I wonder how the crowd will be like... But seriously, I hope that there'll be some crowd cos I wanna enjoy today!! But somehow, I'm still abit voiceless... Hah!! Have abit of voice lah... But can't really talk that much... LOL!!

Had a "quarrel" with Jie yesterday night... SO dumb loh.... (The following words are in white.. If you wanna read then highlight them... )Why must she presume that whatever she thinks is correct?? What she thinks that it's true it's NOT!! And please loh... I used to be that petty and childish... But not now can!! Sigh... Why must she think that what she thinks IS what I think??? Wth!! Sigh...

Where are you??

2009-05-29T19:17:00.002+08:00

Hmm... Wondering why I'm still blogging at this hour?? Strange right?? Cos I'm tutoring MeiQi for Calculus right now... Next Friday got Quiz which constitudes 15% to the overall... Tomorrow tutoring Shalini also.... LOL!! Like that tutor, I don't know when my voice will be back loh... Seriously...

Saw someone who looks like Ah Girl outside the free-access lab just now... Thought was really her... But go nearer to see, not her cos the clothing don't look like those she wear before de... Haha... Know her so long le... She got what clothes don't have what clothes I agar agar remember abit lah... Haha...

*Where's my voice?? Did someone picked it up?? :(

Besties!! :)

2009-05-29T11:20:00.000+08:00

Some random pictures that I've decided to post... :)

Hmmmmm

2009-05-29T10:45:00.006+08:00

我失身了。。。

...

对，你没看错。。。是我打错字!! Should be 失声...

LOL!! The mini factory in my house finally end it's production le... But next Saturday gonna resume one-day production... For charity... Haha...

Having an event at Big Splash this Sunday... I wonder if I have the voice to even close deals... Haha... My fever hasn't come back yet... But don't know why, I'm voiceless... Totally voiceless!!

Sigh...

And seriously, I really don't know if Ryan and I really is considered as silent break already... Sigh...

:)

2009-05-26T17:02:00.005+08:00

:)

Fever finally subside when I woke up this morning... But something else came out... Blocked nose and cough... Sigh.... I don't know what happened to me loh... Seriously... Just feel so sick... Block nose is making me sleepy in a sense or another... Cough wise.. Makes me feel irritated... LOL...

Reached home about 6.45pm yesterday and went into the bedroom and sleep without bathing at about 7.30pm... Slept through all the way till 9plus when Jie woke me up... Had a hard time waking myself up cos the fever wasn't going down yet and it makes me feel so giddy... Really cannot take it le loh... Went to bathe at 9plus then help to do some stuffs le then went to be again... I needed my bed badly... But less than one minute, I was being called again... Jie was asked by mum to ask me to have my dinner (cos I didn't have any appetite so didn't eat before that) in case later I gastric... Oh well, I was so-called forced to have my dinner by her... had maggie mee cos I couldn't finish a 肉棕 and mum asked me not to eat the rice dumplings (if not later gastric also)... And moreover, at the state I was, I couldn't go downstairs to get myself a decent bowl of porridge... LOL... So ended up eating a packet of maggie mee... Eat until I nearly vomitted... Cos super no appetite...

Today morning was definitely a better day!! :)

Although I haven't had my breakfast and lunch (no meals = no medicine), the stupid fever haven't came back yet... So good... But still, feels tired... Sigh... *Freezing in here!! Omg!!*

Don't worry...

2009-05-26T17:02:00.003+08:00

Oh well...

Went to pay the doctor a visit cos I was simply too feverish le... Before I tell you guys what the doctor said, can anybody tell me why body temperature actually can have drastic increase just within a short time??

Hmm... Before I even stepped into the Polyclinic, temperature has to be taken... 37.8 degrees, given a masks and a red sticker... Fair enough... Went in to do the necessary registration myself and got 2590... Just have to wait for awhile more to register cos the last number was 2586... When my number was called, I went forward (all the usual things lah)... But the next thing the nurse ask me was, "Why does your number starts with 2-something?? Shouldn't it be another range of numbers??" "I registered on myself just now, so ya..." (Make me so ps...) Ok, anyway, the nurse then gave me another new number 0530 (cos I'm having fever and needed to proceed to another allocated room for those who are running fever)... Went over to Room 18(A), waited outside for like 20-25mins... First thing the doctor asked me was why I was given the red sticker, was it because I'm having fever or due to other reasons... Told him I'm running a fever... Then he took my temperature again... This time round was 38.7 degrees... Cool right??

Oh well, doctor asked me series of questions then finally say that I'm not having anything serious... Just viral infection... Haha!! Jeffrey so funny... Still say where got so lucky to kena H1N1... LOL!! He damn cute can?? LOL...

Anyway, gotta go home early later after I hand in my MC... Oh well, although I went for classes, but I'm still absent for HRMP tutorial... Haha...

Oh well, I need to get something to eat... I'm hungry.... >.<

??

2009-05-26T11:57:00.002+08:00

Argh...

I hate the weather... I hate the climate Singapore is entitled to... (We all know that Singapore is only entitled to Summer right??) It's making me more sick... First, it was a hot sun in the morning... Next, was a cloudy late morning... And now, it's a going to rain weather... Sigh... But what can I do??

I guess it's because I haven't been taking good care of myself, my sickness is getting worse... That time did had a little sign of recovery but I guess I screwed it up by sleeping so late and waking up so early for the last week... Especially Saturday, Sunday and yesterday... Basically I was servicing my family can?! LOL! And now, I really need the doctor... And the best thing, I dropped 10bucks today morning... Also don't know drop where loh... Sigh...

I ponned HRM tutorial cos I really couldn't concentrate at all... My mind is wandering everywhere... The Global Supply Chain Management test just now I also don't know how I manage to finish the paper loh... But seriously, I couldn't really absorb the things I study loh... Hope I don't screw it up... Sigh... It's 20% loh...

I am so going to the polyclinic later!!

I wanted you...

2009-05-26T11:05:00.000+08:00

Lately I've been thinking bout what I can do
I've been stressing to fall in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way I gotta stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me I'm sorry I'm sorry

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted to see me through it all
I wanted to be the one I love
I wanted you I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you show me what I mean
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Tryna take us back to where we were before
But I'm done I just can't do this anymore
Cos we can't be mended so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking round and take us for sometime
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me I'm sorry I'm sorry

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my dreams
I wanted you to show me what I mean
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you I wanted you

I'm so sorry baby
But I gotta pack up and leave
But I'll always remember how we came close to be in one
I wanted to be I wanted you baby

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my dreams
I wanted you to show me what I mean
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you I wanted you

I wonder..

2009-05-22T10:49:00.009+08:00

Slacking at the free access lab right now... No where to go lah... Today's Physical Distribution and Warehousing Management tutorial only had like 10 pathetic people... LOL! Poor 3G...

Anyway, sad to say, I'm not going this Sunday le... Cos bro "protested"... He scared his friends will come and ga jiao me and Leen if they're drunk... LOL~~ Sort of expected lah... So didn't come as a "bomb"?? Haha.. What a wrong word to use... But heck care lah...

Went to AMK hub with Ah Girl yesterday night after her duty ended... Need to go find some stuffs while Ah Girl went to look for her aunt's facial cream and went This Fashion cos her friend asked her to find some shorts' prices... LOL~~ She ended up buying for herself... Haha!! Had Spicy Chicken before we went and surprisingly, due to all the 以毒攻毒 I've done to myself, I'm somehow recovering le.. XD

Dating with Leen and Avelyn tonight at ECP... *Looking forward!! (Can't the time just clicks faster??) I miss the two of them especially LEEN!! LEEN, I MISS YOU SO MUCH!! I can't wait to see them this eveing loh!! :( They don't have lessons today.. So the two of them meeting like 12pm later then go for lunch and shop together then come back school wait for me outside my lecture hall... So sweet right!! :)

And one more thing... I realise my blog abit very wordy... Haha!! Posting some pictures which we took during Purchasing Principles and E-Procurement tutorial class yesterday afternoon. I pity 3G cos it seems like nobody actually listened to his PP tutorial... Haha!!

Don't know why... Have the urge of blogging these days... Today is damn cropped up... ICT tutorial was cancelled cos Mr. Fong was on urgent MC... Sigh... Break for 3 hours before IB later... Luckily IB pushed forward to 1pm, if not the break will be 4hours long... Sigh... >.<

Read something that Ah Girl posted on Facebook just now... So meaningful... So I've decided to share... :)

第一句: 如果我们之间有1000步的距离, 你只要跨出第1步, 我就会朝你的方向走其余的999步.

第二句: 通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人,才是真正爱你的人.

第三句: 付出真心才会得到真心, 却也可能伤得彻底.

保持距离就能保护自己, 却也注定永远寂寞.

第四句: 有时候不是对方不在乎你, 而是你把对方看得太重.

第五句: 朋友就是把你看透了还能喜欢你的人.

第六句: 就算是believe中间也藏了一个lie.

第七句: 真正的好朋友,并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题.

而是在一起就算不说话也不会感到尴尬.

第八句: 没有一百分的另一半, 只有五十分的两个人.

第九句: 为你的难过而快乐的是敌人, 为你的快乐而快乐的是朋友.

为你的难过而难过的就是那些该放进心里的人.

第十句: 冷漠有时候并不是无情, 只是一种避免被伤害的工具.

I need to re-charge myself abit... Cos I'm too stressed out... LOL!!

*Okok... Needa go lunch with Jeffery le... He also need to re-charge by eating... LOL!! If not he's gonna kill me!!

Praying hard... Will you??

2009-05-21T09:45:00.002+08:00

Argh!!

Old equation doesn't stand anymore... No longer Flu + Cough + Headache = Me liao... Cos the new equation is as follows:

Flu + Cough + Headache + FEVER = Me :'(

Sigh... Don't know why loh... Actually don't have fever de loh... Fever was sort of running after I bathed yesterday night... Not every high lah... 37.8 degree... But still, it made me sleepy but couldn't make me sleep... I don't know why... I tossed and turned for quite sometime before I actually fell asleep... Abit 辛苦... Many peeps ask me to go see doctor... But I no want waste money on medications sia... Consultation like how much liao?? Don't even have to include the sums for medications... Cheapest?? Polyclinic loh... But need to wait freaking long can??!! Don't wanna waste my time... And even Polyclinic, everything will add up till like $20+... Don't want lah... Self-medications cheapest... Haha!! But best thing... I cannot even find any panadol for myself at home yesterday night lah!! Damn pathetic can?! Sigh... But no worries... Cos today morning when I wake up, the fever subside le... No more fever le... But still feeling damn uncomfortable...

Anyway, Mr. Ong approved my request le... He say can take next semester... But need to be prepared to be bugged by the school cos they'll keep reschedule the dates for me to make me take this semester... Haha... I've already promised Jeffrey le... So cannot pang sei him lah... If not he's the only guy walking for 2.4 also very weird right?? LOL!!

*Praying hard...

What can I do??

2009-05-20T17:10:00.003+08:00

Hmm... Calculus ended abit later than expected... Don't know why... Although I'm sick, I don't feel as sleepy as the last two times of Calculus lecture... Think maybe cos my nose failed not to irritate me... So in a way, it made me stay awake... But seriously, I hate it when I feel like sneezing but I just cannot do so... MeiQi wanted to lend me her that flu stick... But I didn't want it cos I don't wanna get addicted to it... Cos I heard from physicians that people who use that will be addicted to it sooner or later... I don't want... So... >.<

I don't know how... I'm supposed to have NAPFA this Friday instead of next Wednesday... It's at 4.30... But I don't wanna miss Calculus cos I also not very sure of the topic that he's gonna cover for Friday... And if I skip, not only I will die... MeiQi, Jie Chun and Shalini they all will die together with me cos they depend on me to teach them the things that they missed or not sure with or don't know... So if I don't know, then I'm dragging them as well... But if I don't skip and go for my NAPFA, then it'll be damn late after I finish the walk of 2.4km (I don't wanna run cos it's been ages since I last did.. So my stamina like *speechless... )... How?? What should I do??

I don't know... I wish I don't have to go for my NAPFA... But too bad... I'm in Year 3 le... Have to take lah... Next batch of Year 3's more cham... NAPFA will become a module for them... So by hook or by crook they have to pass I think... LOL!! Poor peeps...

Sunday!! I love you!!

2009-05-20T13:40:00.001+08:00

Haha.. Another half an hour before I attend Calculus lecture... Shall blog abit since I'm abit sian...

Oh well, I felt that I'm killing myself cos I had Long John brunch with Da Sao just now before I reached school... Da Sao was kinda irritated by LJ cos the time for lunch was supposed to be 11.00am but we could only place our orders at 11.15am.. And the best thing is.. We reached there at 10.35am.. Which means we had to wait for like abt an hour.. But no choice lah.. We already walked so far le.. Da Sao don't wanna walk back to Hub to eat at Ah Mei cafe.. And she felt like eating LJ mah.. So eat there loh.. Haha..

Had Grilled Fish meal.. For the first and last time.. The blackpepper sauce is nice lah.. But the fish too not fresh le... Very very very very fishy!! Sigh... *Disappointed!! Da Sao ordered her Golden Deal 2 with more crumbs.. That one was nice.. Next time shall have that one instead... :)

Coming back.. Why do I say that I felt that I'm killing myself.. I'm sick right now.. The equation is as follows:

Flu + Cough + Headache = Me

So with the LJ brunch that I had, I'll killing myself even more.. Life shortened le.. LOL..

Can't wait for Sunday to come cos I'm going for Bro's Birthday party!! I'm bringing Eileen man.. She's my lover plus wife plus girlfriend!! How can I not bring her there?? Some more I'll feel damn awkward if I go alone.. Cos I only know like how many people?? A handful... Like 5?? LOL.. So if I go alone I scared weird.. If I bring Leen, i can accompany her and she can accompany me.. And the most important thing is, the two of us sure go nuts one!! Confirm!! All the cam-whoring enough liao.. LOL!! *Opps!! Haha!!

I'll be staying over for Sunday night with Da Sao, Bro and Leen over there.. Da Sao actually asked me if I want stay over for Monday night.. Cannot lah.. Tuesday morning got Global Supply Chain Management de ICA.. Need to go home on Monday lah... If not it'll be damn troublesome cos I've gotta wake up at 6plus to go home and get my things.. (I can't possibly bring my notes and stuff to the chalet right??? LOL)

And the programme for Monday will be a trip to the theme park!! :) Cos got two complimentary tickets over.. :) But no more BBQ pit le.. So Monday have to settle our own meals.. If there got kitchen then we can cook ourselves lah.. But if no have then no choice le.. Have to eat out... *Pray hard got kitchen!! Fingers crossed!! >.<

Sigh.. Time's up.. Need to go for Calculus real soon.. I realised I haven't forget my Additional Mathematics!! It's amazing!! I still remember all my differentiation rules and stuff!! :) Just that abit forget Integration le.. Haha.. It's been like 3years since I've touched and even thought of Additional Mathematics can?? Haha!! So amazing!! I'm looking forward to the quiz and test le~~ OMG!! If I tell this to MeiQi, I think she'll say I siao for sure!! Who on Earth will think this way?? Especially if it's something tricky to understand.. Haha!!

Ok lah... Really gotta go le.. Shall update again. :)

Anyone who wants to get 传染 by me??

2009-05-19T16:18:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. This time round, I'm really sick le lah.. I give up sia.. Give up in seeing doctors..

Stupid flu... Stupid dry cough.. But don't worry.. No fever.. :)

I felt so sleepy that I really slept through IB's lecture cos I really couldn't concentrate at all (because of my flu).. Jeffrey's also sick.. Same as me, flu and slight cough. Somemore so coincidental lah. The both of us actually got sick at the same time. He went swimming with his friends on Saturday then the moment he woke up on Sunday then he sick le. For me?? Went Sentosa on Saturday (got go into the waters) then the moment I wake up on Sunday also become like that le.. Please don't think too far away!! *Gosh!! We're pathetic enough le cos we're sick. So don't think until so far hor~~ *For goodness sake!!

Today is a bad brain day for me.. Cos somehow, my brain couldn't function properly.. Cannot think things properly, cannot see things properly.. Damn emo.. Sigh.. Ling Ling had a bad hair day.. I had my bad brain day.. On top of that, I seriously feel like chopping off my nose lah!! I'm having runny nose sometimes and the other is blocked nose!! Gosh!!

Talked to Jeffrey online just now. He went to see doctor le. Doc say he got cough and blocked nose. Think should have MC one. But he still have to report to camp later cos he failed his IPPT and he needs to go back for traning (by right. But by left, he's going there later just for his attendance.) Poor thing.

>.<

Continued... :)

2009-05-18T15:15:00.000+08:00

Shall blog a little more about Saturday's outing with my baby Eileen.

Yesterday was damn freaking fun can?! Met up with her at about 10am at amk control (suppose to be 9.30 but she overslept >.<), then after which went to S11 for breakfast. Hmm.. After that headed for Harbour Front loh.. Had so much jokes in the train can... The two which I remembered was:

The train was approaching Outram Park when Eileen was asking me whether we've reached. So I told her the next stop was our destination. Then end up, she looked out when the train stopped and then I realise that we haven't reached at all! She immediately laughed at me lah!! LOL!
Not long after that "joke", the both of us cracked another joke. I asked Leen whether she wanna get a 1.5l water inside since she never bring any drinks and I only had my milk bottle with me. She said ok. Then immediately after that, the both of us said exactly the same thing at the same time. And that sentence was, "要去哪里买?" The both of us broke into a series of laughter loh!! So 有默契 loh!! No wonder she's my lover!! Haha!!

After all the crackie jokes on the train, we went to the Cheers at HBF control to get a big bottle of water (so that we won't die of thirst). Eh... Then after that was heading towards Palawan Beach. Wanted to go Siloso Beach one, but the two of us felt that it'll be too crowded to even to include us so we ended up going to Palawan Beach. Near the same spot where Ah Girl and I went to. Near the Lifeguard post there.

We were like some people who were nuts lah! Laughed there, SING there, dance there, all kinds of crazy stuffs!! And not to forget, we were cam-whoring as well.. Leen was the main lead lah.. I'm only the supporting lead. Haha!! And guess what, there was this couple over there who were SUPER DUPER imitating in the waters lah!! Make me and Eileen damn disgusted. But no matter how disgusted we were, still cannot beat the two B's who were swimming from East Palawan to West Palawan, disturbing all the girls on the way. Somemore the poor maid (who was playing with her ma'am's children also got ga jiao-ed by them loh!! So disgusting lah!! *Spoil our day!

But still, despite all the irritating and inconsiderate people over there, we still enjoyed our time cos we were to crazy about ourselves. Haha!! Love her man!! After finished with our tanning, we were both hungry... So went back to Vivo. Initially was supposed to go to the market over there, but ended up eating at Subway. Cos I felt like eating also lah. So :) !!

Can't wait for Melissa to come back!! She's coming back this week if nothing goes wrong. She also wanna go Sentosa loh!! LOL!! Think I'll be going with her sometime this weekend or something. See my time and her time ba... Miss her so much!!

Burnt...

2009-05-18T11:25:00.006+08:00

Had a date with Eileen and guess what, I'm burnt!! After the tanning with Eileen on Saturday, I'm totally burnt at the back! Damn painful! I forced myself not to scream when I bathed. Haha! Good! I'm turning brown! Haha! Initially was supposed to go ECP with Eileen and Avelyn cos Avelyn wanted to go ECP. Then Eileen also asked Hui Ping out. End up? Hui Ping came that thing the day before (cos heavy flow so she don't wanna come) and Avelyn last minute say she not coming. So Eileen and I decided to go Sentosa cos I wanna tan! Haha!

These are the pictures.. Some of it only though.. If not it would take ages! Haha! ROFL!

Hehe!! Had fun with her!! Baby, I love you!! :)

Things getting better!! :)

2009-05-14T17:35:00.001+08:00

Hmm... Boring... Waiting for Ah Girl to knock off then after that go makan together. :) *Another date of ours*

So long never watch movie le. Wanted to catch The Ramen Girl. But stupid Takeshi pang sei!! :(

Don't know whether Leen watch le mei you. If haven't then can go watch together. Know Ah Girl too well le. She already say she don't like English movies le. So ask her also no use. She'll tell me she no interest. >.<

Haha. Just now de Physical Distribution and Warehousing Management and the freaking Purchasing Principles and E-Procurement was a torture. I fell asleep during 3G's PP tutorial. Really cannot stand him sia. Damn boring loh his lessons.

And excuse me, I'm not the only one saying this. Basically most people in the class feels the same way as well. LOL!

I hope I'll be happier next week cos Deardear finish his exams le and Melissa is coming back!! OMG!! I miss her sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much can?! Ever since she left for Indonesia like 2years ago, She only came back once in September 2007. Then after that no more le. Make me emo for quite sometime also. Haha! But now that she's coming back, I'm gonna meet her up next week baby! I'm gonna catch her!! :P

*Happy happy happy!!

Hmm...

2009-05-13T13:35:00.000+08:00

Time changed.

Things changed.

Even relationships changed.

Everything seem to have changed overnight. Am I too sensitive?? Maybe?? Maybe not. I believe not. Somehow, it's impossible for us to get back to what we've used to be cos everyone's stand changed. I don't know how long more I am able to see you again. Cos I don't know when I will die.

Maybe the moment I step out of the road later and that marks the end of my life journey?? Who knows?? People always say, Cherish the people around you for being there for you. You've been through so much with me. As a friend, as a brother. So much things happened.

Relationships are not easy to maintain. Not to say, managed. I've always been said and termed the word "EMO" by most. Don't know lah. I'm just melancholic by nature. Endure me.

Sometimes when I don't wanna think of it, the more the thoughts come. Especially all the very scary ones. Everytime I tried to move on, things doesn't get better. They got worse. I'm afraid that I don't have the courage and the thought. Sigh.

Sigh...

I just hope, things will get better soon. And I hope I can really do well in my third year. HOPEFULLY!!

I'm gonna pia like hell this two semesters already. Especially for my Industrial Placement Programme (IPP). Wanted to do self-placement. Don't know whether can find for company a not. The previous one which I approached rejected cos he say now economic no good. Company don't wanna spend money on interns... Sadded.

I hope he can help recommending me to other Logistics/Supply Chain Companies. Haha. Then can help Leen to ask for HR also. Haha!

*I'm gonna wash off my mani that I did myself cos I just ruined it. >.<